tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32143496564562731372024-03-22T00:33:35.555+00:00Organically OliveWellbeing & LifestyleAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-55941232898201160792018-03-05T16:30:00.000+00:002018-03-19T17:02:56.471+00:00My Fundraising Experience: Walking 20 Miles for THANDA UK<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "coming soon"; font-size: 15.4px; text-align: center;"> Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "coming soon"; font-size: 15.4px; text-align: center;">Today's post is all about FUNDRAISING! Earlier, t</span>his year, I decided that I would start to educate myself more, on the different charities that are available both here in the UK, but also worldwide. I want to actively make more of an effort to give back to the community, and of course, there's always a little something in it, that makes you feel good as well (look I never said I was a saint !)</div>
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Last year, back in good old Norwich, I spent some time volunteering for a Mental Health Befriending Scheme for the NHS. This year I started off 2018 by qualifying as a weekend volunteer for Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital- which is already proving to be extremely rewarding and fun! </div>
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A few weeks back, I received a message from one of my good friends, asking if I could make a donation for a 20 mile walk that she was doing, along the Thames Path. All of the proceeds from the walk were being given to a charity known as: THANDA UK. Soon after sending my donation through, I thought to myself, "Why are you only making a donation, when you could actually join in and do the charity walk as well". So that's exactly what I did, after a full week of work and absolutely zero preparation, I joined my friend and we set off for our 20 mile walk across London. With the recent arrival of the Beast from the East, the weather was most definitely not in our favour on this particular Saturday. But this did not stop us. We layered up for the almost minus temperatures, and prepared ourselves for the frosty day ahead. Each step we took, our feet were greeted, or rather insulted, by a thick bed of snow-turned-slush, that was cemented to the ground. Although that morning, as we arose from our slumber, this walk was one of the last things we wanted to do, it couldn't have turned out to be a more rewarding and satisfying experience. We met an incredible group of individuals from across the pond (Missouri, Indianapolis, Boston: Massachusetts, California), and also from Thanda in South Africa. We set off as a group of twelve, my friend and I were strangers to the rest of the group, but quickly got talking and shared our hobbies, interests and the two of us even got some career advice along the way. We reunited in the evening for drinks and a delicious meal, that was kindly hosted by the parents of the charity's founders. This dinner took place in their luxuriously modern, yet rustic, London Bridge apartment. We wined and dined, and shared our individual stories of how we all came to be here for this occasion. All in all, my impulse decision to take part in this walk was definitely worth it, and this day has given me some smile-worthy memories to look back on. Taking part in a fundraising event can never really be a regrettable decision, as the reason you are taking part in the first place is to give back to a worthwhile cause. I recommend seeing what fundraising events are on near you, and getting involved once in a while, you never know what may come of it. </div>
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My apologies, after that watered down version of a 'story time', I realise that I haven't actually explained the real meaning or purpose that was behind this 20 mile walk. Allow me to brief you all....(if you are still reading and interested). So all of the donations from this walk have gone towards buying more books for the children of Thanda, in South Africa. There is only one library in the whole of Thanda, named: The Thanda Library. Thanda’s library is a colourful and warm environment, and is the only one in the area and is open 365 days a year. On any given weekend, Thanda’s library is filled with the laughter of children from the local community. Over the past four years, the number of books children borrowed from Thanda’s library increased from 460 to 6,715 books.<br />
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The donations provided, support Thanda's Mobile Librarian, who travels from school to school, and makes sure that this precious library stays open on weekends and holidays for all children to use. When a child opens a book, it opens their world by allowing them to imagine, empathise and identify with characters. It improves their concentration, vocabulary and language skills. It is an essential building block for all other areas of learning, but one that many children in developing nations don’t have. These books play an important role in ensuring that children growing up in rural South Africa become curious, lifelong learners who contribute positively to the world around them.<br />
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In total, between the twelve of us, we raised an average of £15,160, which converted to South African Rand comes to approximately R249,500. If you would like to know more about the charity: Thanda, please visit their website at www.thanda.org.<br />
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Let me know if you have ever taken part in a fundraising event, and what it was for, and the reason for taking part in it. I'd be interested to hear your own stories, so do share in the comments below, or alternatively send your stories to: oliviacharlottealice@gmail.com.<br />
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Thanks for Reading! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-27823827072509412902018-02-28T14:28:00.000+00:002018-02-28T14:31:52.218+00:00Life after University: Moving back home <div style="text-align: center;">
Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
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Today's post involves me talking about how I feel about life after university, specifically how I feel about moving back home with my parents (and this post is a long one, so I highly suggest grabbing a hot drink, taking a comfy seat and settling in for the next 5 minutes or so)<br />
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Now as some of you may know, I stayed on at UEA with my closest friends to do a postgraduate course in counselling, and therefore I avoided having to move back home for another year. But when the time did finally come, it was almost even harder to say goodbye than before, as the friendships that were good before had now solidified and I was really packing up and leaving a huge part of my early adult years behind. In all honesty, like most postgraduates, my moving back home did come to me as a slap in the face. The kind that leaves you a with an unpleasant stinging sensation, and a feeling of shame and confusion that lingers for hours after. Bit of a dramatic analogy? Perhaps you're right on this occasion. However, the thought of leaving all my friends behind, being unemployed and feeling like an only child, did leave me feeling rather bewildered, to put it mildly. My younger sister has just started her new student life at Edinburgh University and my older brother has just moved out to start his career as a lawyer and had relocated to his own flat nearer Central London. Now, unlike some of my friends who have had to move back to their homes in the middle of the wilderness (okay maybe a slight exaggeration there), I am fortunate to live near enough to Central London, so there is plenty around for me to explore. I am lucky in that sense, as I have a plethora of museums and galleries on my doorstep to save me from going completely insane. There's only so much job hunting one can do before they get cabin fever and loose their marbles. Of course I'm speaking on behalf of a friend's recent experience-*currently in denial about the fact this is my current situation*. Apologies, I was just clearing my throat, now where was I? Ah yes! Discussing the tragic life of an unemployed postgraduate...For <span style="text-align: center;">those of you who are currently in my position, my deepest condolences are in order. </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Before I go dwell any further on what you can expect from moving back home, I thought first I'd indulge myself with a bit of nostalgia and take one last trip down memory lane....</span></div>
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And yes you'd better believe I've plastered photos from my uni days all around my bedroom at my family home...gotta keep those memories of freedom and independence alive, am I right?!</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"><b>For those of you who are still at university...here is a little glimpse of what you can expect from moving back home:</b></span></div>
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One of the first things you have to accept when moving back home, is that you might be living at home for a while. With being unemployed, comes an obvious lack of money, and therefore living with your parents for a while until you can save up for your own place, may be your only option. So please stop telling yourself it’s only temporary, face up to the facts and start unpacking all those boxes you’ve been avoiding! You might as well make your room look nice if you’re going to be in it for a while. </div>
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The second thing is accepting the fact that whilst you may indeed have an astoundingly polished CV and a star dazzling university qualification...so do several thousand other people. The sad reality is that these days, you can’t just walk into a room and leave with your dream job, especially if you're straight out of university. So prepare yourself for the long and painful weeks, perhaps even months, of job hunting and CV tailoring. If job hunting does become your full time job for a while, make sure you keep active (and sane), by joining a gym, going on a daily walk, or just venturing out into town and browsing the shops. Don’t let yourself go, completely. There’s still hope for us unemployed graduates yet…</div>
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Try not to get knocked down and loose faith if you have to work a part-time job in retail to begin with, everyone needs an income, and it’s also a good way to get out of the house and meet new people. </div>
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It is also time to accept that whilst living with your parents isn’t ideal, it’s your reality for now and it means you need to step up your game and help out around the house. No one wants to do chores, but we're not fifteen anymore and we can't get away with laying around doing absolutely nothing. We need to start pulling our weight, and help out with the cooking, cleaning and laundry- shockingly, it doesn’t do itself! </div>
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One living-at-home aspect to get used to, is that whilst you may have been doing your own thing as an independent free-flying-sass-queen for the past 3-4 years, as far as your parents are concerned, you are still a seven year old child who needs to inform them of your whereabouts every five minutes and to always be at home at a decent time. In addition to this, you will re-learn that it is absolutely not acceptable to eat a bowl of COCO pops for dinner, or leftover takeaway for breakfast- it’s the adult world now- we must learn to eat grown up things at adult approved times. </div>
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Don’t be disheartened if your friends from uni start getting jobs left right and centre and you still don’t have one yet, your time will soon come and you will join them in the world of work. For now, just keep on going, work on your CV, get voluntary experience if you can, find and start a hobby, re-discover your home town and just appreciate this free time you have, because soon you’ll be stuck in an office behind a computer dreaming of a few hours of freedom. </div>
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And remember it’s not all bad!! You get home cooked meals (from time to time), a nice house that isn’t full of mould and damp, free or discounted rent and bills, and a chance to re-connect with your parents (you can decide whether that’s a good or bad thing). </div>
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Good Luck & as always, thanks for reading!</div>
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Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-61761512717954146392017-10-20T17:43:00.003+01:002017-10-21T14:21:13.757+01:00My Trip To Cardiff, Wales <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today's post is a throwback to my recent trip to Cardiff, Wales. This particular trip came about rather spontaneously. I was at a house party in Chislehurst one weekend, with all of my university friends, having a reunion filled with beer pong, jelly shot battleships, and a classic game of Cards Against Humanity (I suggest playing it sans parents or elderly relatives). Being unemployed (and ever so slightly tipsy), one of my friends suggested that we book a bus to Cardiff to visit one of our other uni friends who had recently moved to the city with his girlfriend. Clearly I'm more spontaneous when I'm unemployed (or the one two many homemade cocktails let my spontaneous side seep out), as I went along with the suggestion without any hesitation and booked our £10 return tickets right there and then- and a day later we packed our overnight bags and were off! Our last minute decision to visit our uni friends in Cardiff was definitely worth it, and although the classic Cardiff weather, consisting of wind and rain, was testing us throughout the trip, we had an amazing time nonetheless. I particularly enjoyed wandering around the pedestrianised cobbled city streets, taking the single-carriage shuttle train across to Cardiff bay, and looking around the castle fort and manor house. It only took 3 and a half hours to get from London to Cardiff by Megabus, and in all honesty, the journey wasn't bad at all. There are plug sockets and free Wifi, and as long as you remember to download some music or a few of your favourite TV shows from Netflix, you'll be just fine! So if you do find yourself looking for a quick weekend get away and don't want to spend a fortune, hop on a Megabus and head to Cardiff (just remember to bring an umbrella and a coat!) Need more convincing- see some of my snapshots below :)</div>
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Thanks for stopping by! </div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice </div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-77805004111204851992017-10-05T18:48:00.000+01:002017-10-06T19:15:44.812+01:00St James' Club, Antigua <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </div>
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Today's post is about one of my all time favourite holiday destinations, my home away from home, the land of sun, sea and some of the happiest locals you'll ever meet: St James' Club, Antigua.</div>
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My family and I have been going to Antigua every other Easter holiday, for as long as I can remember. I mean I think I was genuinely six or seven when we first got a villa there. Ever since then I have fallen more and more in love with this beautiful island. From the sea and sunshine, to the food, the beaches, the hill top views, the locals, its just all around good vibes every time we go there.</div>
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<h2>
And as an added bonus, here are a few photos of me & my siblings in Antigua in our early years...</h2>
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Antigua is honestly one of my favourite places in the entire world, and after these photos, I think you can see why! If you are interested in particular things you can do on this wonderful island, see the links below:<br />
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Telegraph's Top Antigua Attractions:<br />
<a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/caribbean/antigua-and-barbuda/articles/antigua-attractions/">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/caribbean/antigua-and-barbuda/articles/antigua-attractions/</a><br />
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Trip Advisor's Top 10 Things to do in Antigua:<br />
<a href="https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g150894-Activities-Antigua_and_Barbuda.html">https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g150894-Activities-Antigua_and_Barbuda.html</a><br />
<br />
Places to Stay in Antigua:<br />
<a href="https://www.thehotelguru.com/best-hotels-in/caribbean/antigua-and-barbuda">https://www.thehotelguru.com/best-hotels-in/caribbean/antigua-and-barbuda</a><br />
<br />
Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
Olivia Charlotte Alice<br />
Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-37754731906388928402017-09-30T21:05:00.000+01:002017-10-06T10:04:42.432+01:00Cook With Me: Vegetarian Sweet Potato & Bean Chilli <div style="text-align: center;">
Hi there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
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So today I wanted to share with you my recipe for a vegetarian chilli, which I recently cooked for my meat loving parents. Since moving back home, I've been testing out some of my favourite veggie dishes on my parents, and this one proved a hit with my mum. It's so simple and delicious, so obviously I had to share it with you all! Whether you are a fellow vegetarian like me, a vegan or a meat eater, you have to give this chilli a try! </div>
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I followed a recipe by Jamie Oliver, but I improvised quite a bit (as I can never quite stick to the instructions when it comes to cooking). Please keep reading to see how to make this delicious dish for yourself...</div>
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<u>Ingredients (serves 4-6 people)</u></div>
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2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped</div>
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2 tbsp olive oil</div>
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2 tsp ground cinnamon</div>
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1 tbsp ground cumin</div>
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1 tsp smoked paprika</div>
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1 large onion, peeled and chopped</div>
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1 bunch of coriander, leaves picked and stalks chopped</div>
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1 red chilli, chopped</div>
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2 red capsicum and 1 yellow capsicum*, chopped</div>
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400g tin cannellini beans</div>
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400g tin tomatoes</div>
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Cooked rice, to serve</div>
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Guacamole, to serve (optional)</div>
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(I added an additional 400g tin of red kidney beans and used 4 shallots instead of 1 large onion)</div>
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<u>Method</u></div>
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1. Preheat the oven to 180°c. Toss the sweet potato with 1 tbsp olive oil and a pinch each of the cinnamon, cumin and paprika. Roast in the oven for 35–40 minutes, then set aside.</div>
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2. Heat 1 tbsp oil in a large pan and add the onion, coriander stalks, chilli and capsicums along with the remaining spices. Cook, stirring, over a low heat, for 15 minutes. Add the cannelloni beans with their liquid, and the tinned tomatoes. Stir, adding a splash of water to loosen, if needed. Simmer for 30 minutes, then stir in the sweet potatoes along with most of the coriander leaves. Season to taste, top with the rest of the coriander leaves. Serve with cooked rice & guacamole & doritos on the side.</div>
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For more information please click here:</div>
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<a href="https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/recipedetail/4594/jamie-s-sweet-potato-white-bean-chilli">https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/recipedetail/4594/jamie-s-sweet-potato-white-bean-chilli</a></div>
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Please do let me know in the comments below if you re-create this dish! </div>
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Thanks for reading! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-39056110609013946182017-09-25T20:01:00.000+01:002017-10-06T18:52:50.959+01:00That time I hiked up Box Hill...<div style="text-align: center;">
Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
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<img height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxjoPM9dbByCzpng2Gb6okti8pUepgRT8DdR8PnyqWEnRkGEofGJXntFQC7EhQ5qdSoQaUBd6BrX-jSai33Qikw9EjTunJ47WNP9YuzeFHVtdAA8r3IJFh3HS8-f6iBh5Xe0Wlp6YkH-w/s640/IMG_1235.JPG" width="640" /></div>
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Today, I'm going to be sharing my hiking adventure with you...I know I did exercise...and I actually enjoyed it....yes yes it's all very shocking...I know. The other week I set off (rather begrudgingly) with my Dad, to go on a hike up Box Hill, located in Surrey, England. This particular location always reminds me of my early school years as my first ever overnight stay and school trip was at an FSC Field Centre located at the bottom of Box Hill, called Juniper Hall. At this centre we learnt how to set traps, make our own packed lunches (a challenge aged 8), tell stories around the camp fire and walk up A LOT of hills. Anyways, when my dad and I arrived at the hiking trail car park, we were surrounded by many elderly couples with their walking aids. This sight reassured me that the hikes couldn't possibly be that difficult...oh but boy was I wrong!<br />
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For us, were about to embark on the Box Hill Hike, the ultimate hike of them all. What proceeded was a lot of step climbing, cow dodging, walking through a graveyard, meeting some Shetland ponies, having to stop at pub halfway up to get a drink, and then climbing down hills, then up hills, down hills, then up hills etc...this went on repeat for a while. Finally we made it to the top, and I must admit it...the views were worth it. Plus I realised I was actually far more able at exercising than I thought. I'd given up hope at my athletic abilities after I traded in my gym membership for being a stockroom runner (basically I completed a half marathon every time someone requested a stock check on the shop floor). This hike, although challenging, restored my faith in exercise and the next week I actually joined a local London gym (my bank account will deeply regret this in the upcoming months). Is it bad that one of my first thoughts when I joined was that I was glad I had an excuse to splurge on cute workout clothes again...? Maybe, well its a judgement free zone here on my blog so...you can keep those opinions hush hush. </div>
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Let me know if you like hiking, or have any good hiking destinations that you can recommend- maybe I'll try them out...</div>
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Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
- Olivia Charlotte Alice<br />
Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-84813394249113584222017-09-20T22:10:00.000+01:002017-10-06T19:15:31.172+01:00My Trip to Edinburgh, Scotland <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </div>
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<img alt="Image result for edinburgh royal mile" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOgrrD35nI3Cg7IHemEKiCEAUfk-J1f4SMuERNY3ECbsARAU1Qg7dwpX_5Te1x6yMx44qdrSe6abdyj1G4XK3KZA7xA_3c6rVCkcNe-roMOXHTosFdQvyD0px4Icjcnof3LSIl3y8Zkyy_/s1600/edinburgh+royal+mile+2.jpg" /></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Today's post is all about my recent trip to Edinburgh, which for the next four years, is the new home and university for my younger sister. We travelled to Edinburgh by car, as my sister had to bring all her university things with her (although our mode of transport was confirmed after much debate between my parents over whether we should fly, take the train or drive). We all packed into the car with our chosen snacks and entertainment of choice, and off we went on our journey (with my poor dad commencing the long drive ahead). We stopped off at York for the first night to break up the journey, and spent the afternoon wandering round the old streets, exploring the beautiful cathedral and of course sitting down for a cream tea in a local tea room. </span><br />
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We stayed in a local hotel overnight and then set off again in the early morning. Before we reached Edinburgh, we stopped off at Dundee for a pub lunch and then had a walk along the cliff side to stretch our legs. Soon enough we were back in the car, ready for the last hour or so before we reached our long awaited destination. For the last few hours, as we were driving there were constant gasps in awe of the views surrounding us, they were simply...breathtaking. </div>
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The second we stepped out of the car, the crisp fresh air hit us and it was welcomed with arms wide open after the car journey we had endured. Everywhere you turned, everything was so picturesque and dreamy. The cobbled pavements, the quaint little coffee shops and cafes lining the streets, not to mention the sound of bagpipes following you wherever you went. Even though it rained on one of the days we were there and was slightly grey and windy as expected in Scotland, it somehow it didn't matter. The weather didn't tarnish our experience of the city, as it might in other parts of the UK, in fact it was oddly comforting to have the autumnal weather as it enabled us to be able to enjoy slices of freshly baked cake and mugs of steaming hot chocolate in the early days of September. My parents and I stayed in the Principal Hotel, located in Charlotte Square in the city centre. It was formerly known as The Roxburghe Hotel, but recently re-opened its doors following a multi-million pound top to bottom refurbishment. It overlooks some of Edinburgh's prettiest private garden squares, and is situated amongst a row of stone brick town houses. It has car to door service, so that the second you park, you are escorted through it's steel double doors. Now there's no denying it was definitely on the pricier side, but who's complaining when it's on the house (or the parents rather)- not me! My sister decided to begin her student life on the first night in Edinburgh and familiarised herself with the local nightlife, and as a result I got the hotel suite to myself! </div>
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Want to know more about The Principal Hotel? Don't hesitate to click the link below: </div>
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<a href="https://www.phcompany.com/principal/edinburgh-charlotte-square/">https://www.phcompany.com/principal/edinburgh-charlotte-square/</a></div>
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The next morning, my sister decided to stay in her university halls and sleep in (most likely experiencing early symptoms of a case of the freshers fever-we've all been there). So my parents and I decided to set off on an exploration, and see for ourselves, what Edinburgh had to offer. After seeing Edinburgh Castle, looking at Arthur's seat from afar, and walking up and down many windy cobbled streets, we decided to visit Holyrood House, the royal residence of Scotland. I'm not usually one to rave about national trust properties, but the audio guide was actually incredibly informative and interesting, and the architecture framework that remained, was phenomenal, particularity with the Scottish hills as a backdrop.</div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Let me tell you, I didn't just 'like' this city, I fell head over heels in love with it. I can't wait to come back in the very near future, and next time I'll have my little sister as my very own personal tour guide.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Thanks for reading! </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Olivia Charlotte Alice</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Xx</span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-29069453545671418032017-09-15T16:08:00.000+01:002017-10-06T18:53:52.171+01:00Cook With Me: Mushroom Risotto <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </div>
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Today I'm going to share a classic favourite of mine: mushroom risotto. For this dish I took inspiration from Nigella Lawson's book titled , and it certainly does not disappoint! Keep reading if you want to know how to make this quick, easy and absolutely delicious mushroom risotto...</div>
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If you do try this dish out, please let me know in the comments below!</div>
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Thanks for reading! </div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-84489982034197540282017-09-10T12:36:00.000+01:002017-10-06T18:52:20.578+01:00My Stream of Consciousness Part 4: The destructive power of stress <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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Hi there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </div>
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Today, I want to talk a little bit about stress. I cannot remember the last time I went a whole day without stressing about something, whether it be of significance or the most minor thing ever. Stress can have such a destructive effect on our physical and mental health and our overall happiness and way of living. For me, stress is not talked about enough, yet it dictates so many people’s everyday lives. These thoughts that I am having today, were spurred by a quote I found this morning by the late American writer Mark Twain, as seen below...<br />
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This quote really resonated with me, as it
pretty much sums up my life. I spend so much time worrying and stressing over
so many things for what? It hasn’t led me to achieve greatness, it certainly
hasn’t helped my well-being over the years and I doubt it ever will. All stress
has done for me is wasted so much of my mental energy and has taken up so much
space within my brain, giving me nothing in return. Most of the things I worry
about are things that are either out of my control or are hypothetical scenarios
that will most likely not happen. Sometimes the things I stress about are
things that were in the past or haven’t even happened yet, the things I stress
about are almost never regarding what is occurring in this very moment. When I
am in the present moment, I am not worrying about what happened in the past or
worrying about what happens in the future, I am just focusing on the right now.
In order to be in the moment, one needs to accept everything that has happened in
your life from past up to present. To become whole and recover from our
brokenness, we must first accept it and treat ourselves with kindness and
compassion. By becoming whole we are not trying to be perfect, we are simply
accepting all aspects of ourselves and embracing the fact that we are all
flawed human beings, and celebrating this truth.<br />
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So much of the time we ponder
and dwell on unfortunate moments we have had in our past. Yet, some of the most
awful and embarrassing moments that we have, become some of the funniest and most
memorable ones, that we look back on and laugh and share with our friends and family
at dinner parties in years to come. Those are the stories that show our
humanity to others. Instead of hiding the mess we have created, we should share
it and celebrate it and learn from it, and most importantly be proud of it.
Without the tricky parts, we wouldn’t be here. We allow stress to take over far
too much of our time, and in recent years I have learnt to take the time to
acknowledge when I am feeling particularly stressed and to take some time out
to breathe, come back to the present moment and realise that overall I have a
pretty decent life and the things I am stressing about are pretty futile on the
grand scheme of things. It helps me to talk through my stresses and to
recognise that they are mainly irrational and are coming from too much
overthinking. At some points I would stress so much that I would lie awake all
night, watching the hours go by and as a result I would get no sleep which
would make me more stressed. Now if I do have those moments of stress, I will
listen to a podcast, watch a short video, read a chapter of a book, text a friend
or listen to a few songs until I then forgot about those worries and went to
sleep. The things I would stress about were so irrational and pointless, yet at
the time they seemed like the most important and pressing concerns in my life.
One thing that helped me was going to sleep earlier, as most of my stressing
would happen when I was getting a late night, and to take care of myself by
taking deep breaths, having a shower, treating myself to a cup of tea and an
indulgent treat, writing my thoughts down and also looking into the art of
mindfulness. I used to think mindfulness or meditation was stupid and useless and
a complete waste of time, however just five minutes of mindfulness can alter
my entire mindset and clear my thought process.<br />
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I’d be interested to know what
your guys thoughts are on stress, how you deal with it, and whether you have
any techniques you can recommend?</div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice </div>
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Xx <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-19784589256058655052017-09-03T15:34:00.000+01:002018-06-08T14:53:19.018+01:00My Stream of Consciousness Part 3: What does it really mean to be fearless?<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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Hi there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">So today, I wanted to share with you all some thoughts I have been having on what it means to be ‘fearless’. These thoughts came from a comment that I received by a tutor I had a year or so ago on my introductory counselling course, who told me that I was ‘fearless’ when it came to sharing my personal experiences with the group. This comment caused me to immediately respond by nervously laughing and shaking my head before exclaiming, ‘Oh not me, I’m not fearless at all, you must mean someone else’. After this exchange I looked up what the definition of being ‘fearless’ actually is. To be fearless is defined as ‘having a lack of fear’. I wanted to use this post to explore my thoughts on what 'fearless' means to me, and how I handle moments of fear myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">To me, no one is completely fearless, everyone has worries, and moments of anxiety and times where they are fearful of something or someone. Since this exchange, the word fearless now means something completely different to me. In my eyes, being fearless is feeling the fears that you have about a certain thing but going ahead with that thing regardless. Being fearless is “feeling the fear and doing it anyway”, it is facing your fears head on and moving forward despite those fears. A lot of the time the fears that I have about certain things are self-created. I used to fear things that were not even in the realm of my control, such as people judging me or talking behind my back, or people thinking I was stupid or ugly or fat. These fears were irrational, and were self-deprecating. A few years ago, I went back to therapy for a relapse I had with my eating disorder and anxiety, my counsellor that I had at the time told me about something known as ‘fear setting’. When I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I would have fears of gaining weight and getting better. When I would voice my fears about recovering, my counsellor would challenge these fears by asking, ‘what is the worst thing that is going to happen if you do get better?’ I would sit there in silence and look at the floor, until he responded with his own answer, stating, ‘the worst thing that will happen is that you will gain some weight.’ To me, that was an awful thing to happen, but he would then challenge that fear further by asking, ‘what is the worst thing that is going to happen if you do gain some weight?’ Again, I would sit there in silence until he responded, ‘the worst thing that will happen is that you may look a bit different, and some people might notice and comment on that, but most sane people will have your best interest at heart and tell you how healthy and beautiful you look’. He went on to further say, ‘So the worst thing that could happen if you recover is that you gain weight, you feel uncomfortable for a while and you have to buy new clothes. Some people might notice and make stupid comments, but if they do they are only brining toxic energy into your life and so that is your sign to get rid of them. So that is what might happen if you recover, but what might happen if you don’t recover is that your life ends before you’ve even lived it and one morning during class or at home with the family , you suddenly fall and drop dead.’ I’d been threatened with the death card before, but this was the first time where it became clear how irrational my eating disorder was making me. The difference between gaining weight and dying was definitely a dramatic one, and for the first time in a long time I knew I needed to get better. The first step was removing all the toxicity from my life and to never look back or dwell on it. I had developed an eating disorder due to my life suddenly being spun out of control and I started using food as a way of attempting to gain some form of control back, and diverted all of my attention to exercise and food as a distraction to what I was actually feeling. I may have momentarily gained control over what I ate or did not eat, but I lost control over the most important thing, my health and my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Fear can be life threatening if you let it become all consuming, but fear can also be something that helps to motivate you and to challenge those negative thoughts and fight them head on. Fear is a primitive feeling; in primitive times when cave man was being approached by a predator, the fight or flight mode would kick in, which helped man to sense danger and run. However, times have changed and we no longer have to fight off predators, yet we still have that same fight or flight automatic response mode. Sometimes a small amount of fear can be healthy, say you are walking home in the evening by yourself and it’s dark, that sense of fear keeps you alert and on the look-out for danger. That sense of fear may cause you to make the decision to get a taxi which is a far safer choice than walking. However, if you are feeling this same level of fear over meeting a friend for coffee or going to school, or gaining weight, that is when fear can get in the way of you living your life and it needs to be challenged. The first step of overcoming these irrational fears is to acknowledge that you are having those fears, to accept them and then to choose to do something about it. When you are in a state of denial, you cannot move forward or grow as a person, you are stuck in this self-made rut with nowhere to go. For me, it is ‘fearless’ to acknowledge your weaknesses and your insecurities and to challenge them head on. One of the fears that myself and many others have, is to be seen truly for who I am, flaws and all. It takes ‘fearlessness’ to be completely okay with being seen internally as well as externally, and to be okay with people seeing your flaws. It takes courage to allow people to witness your raw genuine, authentic and sometimes ugly emotions. It takes self-confidence to allow people to view the skeletons within your closet and to see the grey areas that you usually keep hidden within. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why is it that with our friends we are fine with sharing the darkest parts of ourselves, but with others it fills us with dread? Share your thoughts with me, I’d be interested to hear what you think! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">- Olivia Charlotte Alice </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Xx</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-20252825534088549092017-08-16T18:01:00.000+01:002017-10-06T15:23:55.034+01:00My Stream of Consciousness Part 2: Life is a beautiful mess<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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Hi there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Today I'm back with a second edition of my ramblings, this time I will be speaking about whether or not life is in fact a 'journey'. The other day, in a moment of unemployed desperation, I downloaded Duolingo (a translation app) and was attempting to learn some Italian- because why not?! Whilst tragically attempting some of the most simple Italian phrases, I happened to come across the phrase, "Un bello desastre"...an Italian phrase which translates to English to mean, "A Beautiful Mess or Disaster". This caused me to ponder over the phrase more and more and got me thinking about how often we hear people describe life as a 'mess', but not once do they describe it as a beautiful one.<br />
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Just the other day I was having coffee with a close friend of
mine, and she was having one of those hopeless, negative-self talk, drama queen type
days. Whilst in mid conversation, she suddenly sighed, buried her head in her hands and exclaimed, “oh my god,
my life is such a mess”, to which I replied, “oh yeah same, but isn’t everyone’s?” Because the truth is that YES OK our
lives might all be incredibly messy, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be a
negative thing. My life may be a mess, but it is a beautiful mess at that. Sometimes,
it can feel as though each time we reach a high point in life, we are suddenly knocked back to square one on the checkers board and must
start again. But, if we weren’t ever knocked down and we were all to have life
figured out and never had to go through any of the trials of life, how would we learn or grow or adapt? We are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to
learn from others around us and as a result of this we can come back fighting even
stronger from our past mistakes. Obviously, accepting where you are in this
moment and not wishing you have life figured out, is far easier said than done,
and I certainly have my moments where I wish I could just be J.K Rowling and
have life sorted. But, if I were to get my dream job straight out of university
and have life ‘figured out’, I then wouldn’t explore the many layers that are
within me. A world where no one learns from themselves or each other would be a
boring world to live in. Going back to the phrase ‘having life figured out’,
who really has life figured out and what does ‘having it all figured out’ really
mean? No one has everything in life sorted, there is always something or
someone who stops you in your tracks and causes you to rethink things in your
life and there are always mistakes being made, regardless of how wise you are
or how many degrees you have or how much money you have made.</div>
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We always hear the phrase, “life
is a journey” getting thrown about, but what does that really mean? This
thought was brought to my attention by Alan Watts, a British philosopher, who
famously stated, “life cannot be a journey as "it doesn't have a set
destination that it ought to arrive at." When you are travelling, you go
on a journey with the intent to reach a certain destination you have in mind. But with life, we are
not all headed for one set destination. Watts states that if we were all in fact on a ‘journey’,
then the set destination we would arrive at, would ultimately be death. Watts further explains that life is like a song and dance. When going to a music concert, you don’t go
just to just hear the last few minutes of each song, you go to enjoy the all
the melodies from start to finish. Essentially, the entire composition of each
song is of significance. Similarly, you wouldn’t go to a ballet just to watch
the last few minutes of the dance, you go to watch the entire routine, as every
twist and turn is equally important, and without all of the movements, you cannot understand the
whole narrative. While these songs and dances have a start and a finish to them,
it is neither the start nor the finish that matters the most. It is everything,
the beginning, middle, end, and all the little unexpected moments in between. For
me, I have come to understand that life is unpredictable and it is what we make
of these unpredictable moments that we have on earth that really counts. I used
to see myself as a “victim” in the sense that I thought the universe and everyone within it was out to get me. From learning to view my thoughts from an
exterior perspective, I have been able to see that it is my choice as to
whether I view my life as a curse or a blessing. The only individual who can
truly choose whether I have a good life or a bad one, is myself. It is up to me to transfer that negative
energy into something positive and useful and productive. No amount of negative
energy is going to make a difference to what will happen in my life, and if it
has an impact at all, it will only be to hinder my development.<br />
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How do you feel
about the phrase 'a beautiful mess' and ‘life is a journey’? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below, I'd be interested to hear your feedback! <o:p></o:p><br />
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Thanks for reading!</div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice </div>
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Xx</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-61230422083873847232017-08-15T07:00:00.000+01:002018-06-08T14:43:41.032+01:00My Stream of Consciousness Part 1: Self acceptance, prayer & philosophy<div style="text-align: center;">
Hi there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Welcome to this new segment on my blog titled, 'My stream of consciousness' where I will quite literally be rambling on about whatever has come to my mind. It is not planned or scripted and quite frankly anything could happen. So buckle up, grab a cuppa tea and sit back and read the ramblings of an absolute amateur. Enjoy! x<br />
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Today, I want to share a few of my thoughts on self acceptance, and to delve a little into the topic of philosophy and prayer. As this post is entered around self-acceptance, I would like to begin this post by stating the following: *imagine me shouting it*</div>
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<b><i><u>I am enough, you are enough, we are ALL enough.</u></i></b></div>
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Every single being on this earth is enough as they are, without any external source of validation. Simply being here, living and breathing, you are enough. In today's society are all wrapped up in this rat race. Here, I am not speaking of how we are
constantly chasing after money, but how we are constantly chasing after this portrayal of success that
the media and society has given us. We have become so caught up in trying to act
and look and think a certain way, that we have forgotten who we are in the process,
and have disregarded the importance of appreciating who we are, right now in
this very moment. Our self-worth should not come from the amount of followers we
have on our social media platforms, or from the amount of likes we get on a
photo, or from the dress size we are. It should not come from how good our
eyeliner application is or how many times a week we go to the gym, or from our
relationship status, or from the number of cars we have or the holidays we go on. Our
self-worth stems from within, and it starts with us learning to love ourselves
and treating our minds and bodies as we would someone else’s, with love, compassion,
kindness and forgiveness. There is a quote by a famous 13th-century Persian
poet, named Jalaluddin Rumi, which I want to share with you all, “…you wander
from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your
neck.” Essentially, Rumi is stating that we already have all the things that we
are constantly seeking. All the qualities that we desire are already within us,
and yet we go searching for more. If we were to realise that this were the
case, it would help us to feel less insecure and reliant on other people’s
acceptance, and we would not depend on other’s compliments to feel validation and
feel self-worth. Perhaps if we were to stop seeking validation from elsewhere, we
would live a far more peaceful and loving life. If we were to realise that the
love we need the most is the love from within, we could start to focus our
attention away from materialistic qualities and start to invest in our physical
and mental health, and practise self-care.<br />
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Now, I am not religious (not that I have
anything against any religion), but there was one prayer which I came across a few years back when I attended a group therapy session, and it really struck me. The
prayer is called the Serenity Prayer and it is often used in addiction recovery
groups. It was written by the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr
(1892–1971). Though this prayer has religious purposes, I feel that it can be
used by anyone. I used to be scared by the word ‘god’ as I didn’t know what to
think or believe when that word arose in conversation or in morning assembly at
school. I am not deeply religious, but at the same time I am not opposed to the
idea that there is something of a higher power out there. I do not think it is
a bad thing to hold on to something or someone in times of need who you can
turn to and share your thoughts with and feel a sense of hope and relief in that
moment of darkness. To me, by replacing the word ‘god’ with another word such
as ‘universe’ or ‘friend’, I can start to make more sense of the notion of ‘god’,
as it no longer becomes this mysterious unknown sense that I am trying to communicate with. For me, praying is simply a way for someone to communicate their thoughts,
feelings and emotions in a safe and trusting environment. I used to think that
prayer was some form of a religious vending machine. I witnessed people praying for cars
or a bigger house or fortune, and these individuals expected the universe to hear
them and to reward them with these materialistic requests. Here, I am most definitely not speaking about the entire religious community, only a small minority of individuals
that I witnessed in prayer. However, this act of praying in such a self-indulgent and materialistic
manner made me uneasy of prayer, as it was being misused in my eyes. For me, prayer is
a way of getting ones thoughts out into the open, to making sense of my
internal thoughts by making them into something tangible through verbal
communication. It allows us to view our own thoughts externally, and to acknowledge what we are thinking or feeling from an outsider's point of view, and then we are able to unravel those thoughts and understand them further. Going back to the
Serenity prayer, the prayer goes as follows, “God, Grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And
wisdom to know the difference.” When referring to this quote, I remove the word
‘God’, simply for non-religious purposes. I read the prayer simply to mean, “Grant
me the serenity to accept the things that can't be changed, the courage to
change the things that can be changed; and the wisdom to know the difference
between the things that can and cannot be changed.” This prayer, for me, helps
me to remember that I cannot control some things in life and those things will
remain the same, so I must accept this truth and learn to move on. It also
reminds me that there are some things in life that are in my control and that I
can change, but i choose not to. The reason as to why I do not change those things is because I
am too afraid to. However, it is my choice as to whether I overcome this fear
and help myself to lead a more self-fulfilled life. I must learn to recognise
when I can change something and when I cannot, and to focus on the things that
are in my control rather than focusing on the things that are not and will
never be within the realm of my control.</div>
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I must admit, I have always found it rather difficult to accept
criticism and to accept that I cannot change everyone’s opinions of myself. I used to always try to change my ways of thinking, to change my appearance and my personality until I became a human shape shifter willing to mould into others’ ways of being, to be more widely
accepted. I realised over time that I cannot please everyone, and it is not my
duty to ensure that everyone likes me or agrees with me. There will always be
haters, but there will also always be supporters, and it is within my control
to listen to the voices of the supporters and ensure that they drown the haters
out. What others say or think about me may not be within my control, but what I
choose to take from their words is within my power, and it is my choice as to
how I choose to deal with that criticism. I can either learn from it and use it
to grow stronger or I can allow it to beat me down and destroy my confidence. It
is also important to learn the difference between hate and constructive criticism.
I used to take every single piece of criticism as negative, when sometimes people
were just giving me constructive feedback and trying to help me develop. I
would take things personally and to heart when they were not meant in a
malicious way. I was using their words to feed my own negative talk and self-hatred.
Over time, I have learnt to not jump to conclusions as much and to sit back and
think about the words that have been said to me, and to separate my own insecurities
from those comments and to decide whether it really was malicious or not. Most
of the time, the comments are made by those who are simply looking out for me, and
I have just projected my self-worth and insecurities onto them, when in fact
the negative talk is not from them at all, it is from within. I used to always feel
that self-acceptance equated to being conceited or full of oneself, and stating
that you are completely and utterly fine. But the truth is that self-acceptance
is simply accepting that where you are at right now is okay. It is learning to
be comfortable with not being okay and accepting where you are in this moment.
It is knowing you will not be stuck in this palace forever, but where you are
stuck right now is acceptable. We must have gratitude and learn that our
moments of darkness are simply a bump in the road. I like to think of our lives
as a TV show, and each day is like a new episode. In some tv episodes, there are
moments of darkness and chaos and the episode might finish with a dramatic cliff-hanger,
and we wonder how on earth our favourite characters will make it through and
recover. However, in the next few episode things are explained, relationships are
mended and the drama dissolves and moves on. Our lives are the same, one day we
may have a bad day where everything goes wrong and we think our life is over,
and the next day we wake up and things are normal and we are able to move on
and forget our worries of the previous day. We should not wish for life to rush
past us, we should take each day as it comes and appreciate that the mistakes
we make are learning curves and we need to have those learning curves so that
we can then relish in those small or big victories that are yet to come.</div>
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The
British philosopher Alan Watts famously stated that, “the only way to make
sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” This
quote resonated with me, as it is so easy to fight against change and become frustrated
and tired, but if we accept it and embrace it and adapt to what is going on
around us, in the long run it will help us to live a much smoother and happier
life. There are some things that we cannot change, but the one thing that we
can change is our mindset. Our minds are the most valuable part of ourselves
and we must nourish and take care of our mental-health. Going back to Watts, another
of my favourite quotes of his is, “all that you see out in front of you, is how
you feel inside your head”. This quote really hit home for me, as he is
essentially reminding us of the fact that we often project our own insecurities
onto others and live our life through glasses tinted with insecurity and self-doubt.
Life is what we make of it, and it makes far more sense to focus on trying our
best to enjoy it and make every moment count, than to spend every waking moment
worrying about what we may or may not have done.<br />
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Those are just some of my thoughts, and I'd like to hear about some of yours, please do share in the comments below! <o:p></o:p></div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice </div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-6695405252551004432017-08-13T10:14:00.000+01:002017-10-06T18:50:32.762+01:00Life Lessons with Livvy Part 7: How to be a better listener <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="text-align: center;"> Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">So today, I wanted to you a
little bit about listening, and more importantly I wanted to share some tips on
how to become a good listener. I spent the past year gaining my certificate in
person-centred counselling, and along the way I learnt some useful tips on how
to up your listening game. So here goes….I hope some of my tips can help!</span></div>
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A good listener offers affirmation,
validation, and trust. Skilled listening makes up one half of effective
communication, which is the foundation of any healthy relationship. However,
being a good listener is not as simple as just not interrupting people, or
nodding your head in silence, it requires some level of skill. So, today I
thought I would share with you a few ways you can be a more efficient listener.
The first step, is to make the person you are listening to feel safe, trusted
and confident enough to open up to you. One way to make that individual feel
safe is to keep an open mind and to leave your judgement at the door and fully
embrace the words they are saying. As you are human, obviously you cannot magically
remove all judgements that come to your mind, but you can learn to disregard
them and recognise that they are not needed within the exchange you are having.
The second step is to act interested, curious and passionate about what the
speaker is telling you. Essentially, you want to listen with your whole body.
In addition to using your ears to listen to the words, you also use your eyes
to look out for non-verbal’s, your brain to think about what is being said, and
your heart to feel emotions. It is best to let the other person speak for the
most part, however you can ask questions. Just ensure that you are not so
direct in your questioning, that it results in you taking lead of the
conversation. Remember- it is the other person who needs this time to feel
heard and listened to! To make listening conscious for you and perceptible for
your conversation partner, make sure you smile, nod your head, sit upright in
your chair and make use of simple phrases such as, ‘of course’, ‘I understand’,
‘I hear you’, ‘I see’. These are affirmations for the listener and help them to
recognise that you are with them.</div>
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Up to
80% of what we communicate comes from non-verbal cues, such as facial
expressions, gestures and posture. Therefore, when we are busy with other tasks
whilst listening, we are missing many of the signals that the speaker is trying
to communicate to us. It is also important to listen not only to the gestures
and the words, but also to the emotions beneath the words. Essentially, you
need to listen to the things that are not being said. Look out for things such
as the speaker’s tone of voice,...does it alter whilst they are recalling a
certain moment? Watch out for their facial expressions...do they smile and then
suddenly start frowning? Notice the way they are sitting or standing...does their position
shift at any point? Do their gestures fit with the words they are using? Many people who have gone through traumatic events, will use humour when recalling negative events in their past, often smiling and sometimes even laughing. However, this doesn’t mean that they are comfortable,
it just means that it is their way of coping. It is our duty as a listener, to do more than just listen to the speaker's words. We must show demonstrate curiosity and genuine interest,
be authentic, empathetic, trusting, open minded, non-judgemental and make sure
that you are tuning into the person that you are listening to in an authentic
and genuine manner. And remember: good listening is not giving advice, sharing
experiences, or making snap judgements!<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Good luck with your future
listening, and let me know if you have any of your own tips in the comments
below! <o:p></o:p></div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-48113576419486496022017-05-20T15:43:00.000+01:002017-10-06T15:23:40.568+01:00Steps to Improving Low Self Esteem<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
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Today's post is all about self esteem, and how to improve it!<br />
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So many people struggle with low self esteem and it is definitely an ongoing problem. I think it is important that we learn to love ourselves before anyone else. You should not feel as though you need to change yourself in order to find someone to love you, if you love and embrace yourself you will start to realise that no one else is worth your love if you feel you have to change things about your true self to be with them! At the end of the day you are with yourself more than anyone else so you need to start embracing you for you, flaws and all. Losing weight, dying your hair, getting surgery, none of it will solve the problems in your life – you will still be the same you with the same problems! Instead of focusing on the things you dislike, start focusing on the things you do like and learn to love yourself for everything that you are! Focus on your strengths, figure out what you are good at! There are plenty of things that you are wonderful at, so use those things to build your confidence! No one is good at everything so do not fret if you are bad at something! Learn from your mistakes - you don’t have to be good at everything like I just mentioned- use your mistakes to your advantage! Don’t worry about slipping up once in a while, the whole point of life is to live and learn! Do what you love – make time everyday to do something that you truly enjoy! Do something that makes you happy to improve your mood! Life is all about the little things as well as the momentous moments.</div>
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Tell yourself you are beautiful - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are! Keep telling yourself and fake it until you make it! Really mean what you are saying and realise all of the beautiful things about yourself - including any flaws (they make you unique!) Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones – instead of thinking your legs are big, be thankful that you have legs to take you places. Whatever the negative thought is, try to stay optimistic and see the positive side of things! It will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life! Realise that beauty has no measure on your life. Everyone has worth and is special in their own individual way. I am sure you are the a beautiful person but even if weren't , who really cares? What does it really matter? All that matters is that you are happy and love your life- and that should not be dependent upon whether or not you are aesthetically pleasing to another's eyes. Remember that weight has no relevance to beauty! Whether you are 100 or 300 pounds you can be beautiful! Please do not relate size to worth- it's a dangerous game you don't want to play. Spend time with people that you love and who love you back! It is important to spend time with loved ones-they will boost your mood and confidence! If people have a negative impact on your life then you don’t have to spend time with them! Don’t feel like you must stick around for everyone. You have to put yourself first and make sure you are happy! Don’t let others drag you down! Remember that life is simple, we just tend to complicate the process. Remember the simplicity in life and let it help you to stay calm and remain focused on the important things! Love yourself and embrace everything present in your life! Enjoy it while you can and don’t let everything stress you out so much! Be generous, help others, be kind to others, and give when you can. It will spread love and make you feel better as a person.</div>
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Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about- what would you say to good friend who was going through the same things that you are going through? If you hate yourself, you are likely say things to yourself that you would never dare say to another person. What would you say to somebody else who has the exact same issues as you? What could you say to help yourself? Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths: often, people believe the things that they tell themselves. If you think you are a failure, you may believe that is an absolute truth. There is a tip I learnt, it is a cognitive behavioral technique called “the three C’s” referring to 'catch, challenge and change'. Catch yourself in the moment if you start thinking something negative about yourself, then try to challenge the thought and change it into something positive.<br />
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Embrace the concept of “good enough”: Many people feel they should be perfect. These constant high expectations deny the fact that imperfection is an ingredient within our lives. If you are one of these people with extremely high expectations for yourself, perhaps try asking yourself why you are a perfectionist and try to pinpoint the reasons behind it. Try out some meditation and mindfulness, it can help evoke feelings of self-compassion as well as love and kindness toward yourself and others. If you hate yourself for mistakes you made, make amends: Stop all the negative thinking and embrace a positive mind as well as positive thoughts/actions. You can start doing this by surrounding yourself with positive and uplifting people. When there are positive people around you, it helps you to absorb positive energy for yourself. When you are having fun and enjoying life, most likely you’re thinking about how much fun you are having and not dwelling on the negative things in life. Remember that no one has their entire life figured out and throughout life, things will happen and won't go according to plan and we have to adapt and learn to be okay with these changes. </div>
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Hope my advice helps! Please let me know if you’re ever in the need of some more help, advice, support etc. I’m always here and only an ask away. Take care,<br />
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Thanks for stopping by!<br />
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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<b>xXx</b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-11245683293720067992016-08-22T13:03:00.000+01:002017-10-06T15:24:14.093+01:0021st Century Struggles with Body Image <div style="text-align: center;">
Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Today I thought I would share my opinions on body image in the 21st Century.</div>
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<i>*Disclaimer* I am aware that males struggle with these issues regarding body image too and deserve equal support and help; however for the purpose of this post it will focus on the female gender as that is my gender so it is easier to draw from personal experiences and write about :) Just wanted to clear that up!</i><br />
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To all the females out there who hate their naturally curvy bodies, have you ever considered the fact that some of the most famous paintings in the world were modelled after women that have the same body type as you? Painters such as Botticelli, Titian, Rubens as well as many other artists, depicted females with bodies just like yours because of their unique shape and size and natural beauty. In Renaissance times, a body with curves, wide hips and large thighs was something to be desired, something that stirred sensations of lust, and it was even a sign of status and wealth. Artists such as Rubens, Titian, Botticelli and later the Pre-Raphaelites, saw curly red headed women with curves as the pinnacle of beauty.<br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Just because modern day media promotes stick thin girls in skimpy underwear and stilettos and edits naturally beautiful girls to an inch of their life in magazines and shames anyone above a size zero- it does not mean that you are any less beautiful, it just means that social views have changed and society sucks. Whenever you are feeling down about your body, please remember that there are entire galleries and chapels all across the world covered with images of women that have a body shape just like yours.</span></div>
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<img height="320" src="https://parkstoneinternational.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/the-three-graces1.jpg" width="257" /> <img height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c6/Rubens_Venus_at_a_Mirror_c1615.jpg" width="257" /></div>
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To all of the females out there who are naturally slim and hate their small butt and boobs, know that you are just as beautiful. We come in all shapes and sizes and skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming. Neither are acceptable. We do not need to bring others down in order to raise others up; we need to start accepting all shapes and sizes and take steps towards creating a sense of harmony and equality in the ways in which we treat and talk about one another's bodies. We are all beautiful in our own way, really we are. Living proof that both slim and curvy bodies can be equally beautiful is in the fact that two of the most beloved and sought after females in the media were Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. Hepburn being slim and brunette and Monroe being blonde and curvaceous. The two women were entirely different both in appearance and character, yet both were deemed as beautiful and sexy and were admired by the masses.<br />
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<img height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1szx4DTyGWMTIGG6SIVUftWIOOvtVLKd-_d7YUPMjwYm_Ws_hiSDCW1EL4ggEE8MegsOdT_ermHfG3eV2pF0UW5ksv1d9qD-lvWVGCZe_Mijz4XcQNnKSHdENV5y4Cz0FXHFRcpSYeVk/s320/Marilyn-Monroe-Pictures-4.jpg" width="252" /> <img height="320" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/e5/89/0ce589dc9fd237999e5456209b8cf123.jpg" width="215" /></div>
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Beauty is within the eye of the beholder and what one person may deem as 'gorgeous' may not be so beautiful to someone else. Every single person on this planet is beautiful in their own way, some people fall in love with personality far more than looks while others date purely for aesthetics. It depends on the person and how you choose to live your life. The point is that we should not continue to judge people based on their weight or body type, it really is completely and utterly pathetic and it needs to stop. Certain members of society that try to prove that we are progressive and embracing 'plus' sizes, seem to be shaming naturally slim individuals in the process, accusing anyone at a naturally lower weight to have an eating disorder. This is appalling, firstly because eating disorders are a mental health issue and are not always evident from the exterior, and secondly because it is just putting one person down just in attempts to make another feel better. Why can't we just accept that people are different and every size is okay. I will never understand, maybe it's just me but I honestly cannot even begin to process how someone can hate or bully another because they are 'bigger' or 'slimmer' than society thinks they should be. Base your judgement towards others on actions and personality, not solely on looks. It is shallow and silly. It is time to change and move on from all of this. Mental health issues are sky rocketing and unless people start speaking out and trying to improve things, the numbers are not going to decrease. Children need to know that they are safe and that it is okay to be proud and love yourself. No one should feel embarrassed to be confident within their body or be fearful of being called 'vain' or 'cocky' because they actually love and embrace themselves. That is not the kind of world in which I want to live in. Do you?<br />
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Tweet me your thoughts @Olivia_CA95 or leave your musings in the comments below :)<br />
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Thanks for stopping by!</div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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<b>xXx</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;">Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;">Today I wanted to talk about something a little bit different...*cue gasps of horror* </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;">I recently read an article about the hidden signs and symbols that you can find in all of Walt Disney's animated films. Now for me this was simply fascinating as I love all things Disney (although Frozen...I'm sorry...you weren't on my list of favourites). Growing up I loved all of the classics, and one of my all time favourites was the magical and wonderful Alice in Wonderland. Now </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">whilst Walt Disney's </span><i style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">Alice in Wonderland </i><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">(originally written by Lewis Carroll in 1865) is a wonderful story full of imagination and creativity, there does seem to be an undeniable nod towards mental instability and escapism throughout the film. </span><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This hugely fantastical world that Alice ventures into is for her, a form of escapism from the stresses and strains of her every day life. Further more, the substances she takes throughout the film that have more than </span>peculiar<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>consequences<span style="font-family: inherit;">, could be a reference to the less-than-healthy ways in which certain members of society chose to cope, such as with drugs, alcohol, etc. This is further proven by the </span>intensely<span style="font-family: inherit;"> saturated images that she sees, not to mention singing flowers and pink and purple smiling cats up trees...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">So you're still not at all convinced? Let me elaborate...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">From the start of the animation, we see Alice isolating herself from a party. Instead of engaging with her family, she is seen lying among the flowers in a daydream like state. Alice appears to be escaping from reality, suggested further when she quite literally escapes from her surroundings after falling down a rabbit hole- the result of her following a talking white rabbit- first nod to crazytown perhaps? Alice meets the Cheshire cat who informs her that "We're all mad here." Alice is seen taking different potions/remedies which alter her body size (and perhaps her mindset) throughout the story- suggested to be a reference to alcohol and drugs? Alice interacts with singing flowers as well as a multitude of talking animals such as a caterpillar- who appears to be smoking a pipe. As if that isn't enough, she even attends the 'Mad Hatters Tea Party' with more talking animals. From the get go, it is as if we are viewing this film in a drug induced haze. </span><i style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">Alice in Wonderland </i><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">is a childlike fantasy: innocent, fun, playful and quirky. However, from an older perspective I cannot deny the underlying darkness and references to mental instability that are present within both Carroll's cherished book and the Disney classic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the years many articles have been written on this topic, discussing the suggested references to mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, disassociation and substance abuse. These ideas or interpretations may simply just be ideas and interpretations; it may not have been Carroll's intentions and perhaps in this day and age we read too much into things. But nonetheless, it is interesting to observe a narrative from differing perspectives as it enables us to find a connection to the story and relate to certain underlying issues, whether or not those were the author's intentions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH A MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM, PLEASE DO NOT KEEP YOURSELF IN THE DARK. PLEASE REACH OUT AND SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY- NO MATTER WHAT THE PROBLEM IS YOU DESERVE HELP AND SUPPORT. </span></div>
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Please do share your own thoughts and opinions in the comments below! </div>
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Thanks for reading! </div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-60941752493112305002016-07-10T15:49:00.000+01:002017-10-06T11:24:13.738+01:00Free Writing: In My World <div class="title" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
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Hello there, you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Today, I just wanted to share a little bit of my own free writing with you</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">('free' writing is just where I spontaneously write whatever comes to my mind in the moment).</span><br />
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<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We are true to what we believe in</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">& we stand up for what we think is right,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We fight each day to be better than the day before</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">& w</span><span style="color: #0a0000;">e are also accepting of who we are in this current moment,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We are kind and loyal and forgiving,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We greet the postman each morning with a smile, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We ask the cashier how their day is going,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Random acts of kindness are a part of our every day routine,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We stand up for the people that we love and care for most deeply</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">& w</span><span style="color: #0a0000;">e also stand up for strangers in the streets,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Beauty lies within each and every one of us, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">There are no numbers or rules or regulations that tell us how to dress or feel,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">There is no judging, shaming, cat calling or heckling, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">There are no cruel comments made by school kids bitching on the bus, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">In my world, </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Being confident is not seen as vain or pushy,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Dads stay at home while the mums go out to work, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Mums stay at home while the dads go out to work, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">It doesn't fucking matter what gender you are, or if you are a gender at all, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">All beings are equal, none more or less important than others, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Embracing your personality and body type in its natural form is more than okay, it's celebrated</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Intelligence, wisdom, and kindness is just as beautiful as a pretty face and a perfectly sculpted body. </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Aspiring to be that size 0 model on your Instagram feed is no longer a common goal, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Self-hatred is a foreign concept because self love is practised worldwide on a daily basis,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Blondes and brunettes and red headed girls all have an equal amount of fun, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">because hair colour has no correlation to our personality types and characteristics,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We embrace and love one another during the best and worst of times,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">We wish the best for every individual we meet, regardless of their history,</span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">In my world, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;">There is a whole lot of love and a whole lot of peace ✌</span><br />
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<span style="color: #0a0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">💜</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0a0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Thanks for stopping by!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">- Olivia Charlotte Alice </span><br />
<i>Xx</i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-65989701704964192342016-07-09T23:55:00.000+01:002017-10-06T11:24:59.104+01:00Start your Eating Disorder Recovery Today!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0a0000;">Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">As I know that many of my audience have struggled or are struggling with mental health and body image issues, I wanted to share a creative writing piece about anorexia, that was written by an inspiring Danish girl, with whom I came in to contact with a few years ago. (Charlotte has granted me full permission to post this extract, which is sourced from her Tumblr blog).</span><br />
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Imagine yourself in 50 years, if you're even lucky enough to make it that long. </div>
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Your grandchildren are playing in your backyard. They're asking you to come out and play with them, but you're too weak and tired to. Your son asks you to meet his fiance and give her your blessing, but you keep making excuses because you think you are too old, too ugly, too fat and she will do nothing but judge you. Your own marriage is slowly deteriorating because you are too detached from your partner and (s)he is sick of trying to fix things that keep getting broken again and again.</div>
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Imagine yourself in 40 years, if you're lucky enough to make it that long,</div>
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Your partner comes home from a busy day at work and kisses you on your forehead. (S)he no longer kisses you on your mouth because your teeth and lips are a reminder of the copious amounts of caffeine you consume in attempts to function. Not to mention your breath is a violent reminder of how you refuse to keep even the small amount of food down these days. </div>
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Your kids are always asking you to help them out with homework, but you don't have time because your mind is too busy working out when you are going to allow yourself to eat next, and whether you've walked enough that day. </div>
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Imagine yourself in 30 years, if you're lucky enough to make it that long. </div>
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You're on your way to the supermarket to do the family grocery shop. You pass the confectionery isle, but instead of feeling tempted to grab a cheeky chocolate bar for you or the kids, you just stare up at the numbers, turning your nose up at all the grams of fat, protein, sugar, carbs, salt, and it is all too much for you to bare. You end up in a panic and buy exactly the same things you always get, plus a few of your own safe foods. These include the usual wafer crackers, low fat yogurts and a pathetic selection of dairy and gluten free snacks. Of course, you don't have a dairy intolerance and you aren't allergic to wheat, or gluten, but you'll use any old intolerance to avoid eating it. </div>
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Imagine yourself in 20 years, if you're even lucky enough to make it that long, </div>
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All your friends are getting married and starting to have kids, and you wonder whether you will ever have that life. You receive the tenth invitation to a wedding and decline it yet again for the fear of anyone seeing you and having to have a sit down meal at a public event. </div>
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You had your spell of dating but it interfered with your routine and so you stopped trying a long time ago. You're still working that part-time retail job you got as a 'temporary fix' when you were younger, but now it's all that you can manage. You tell yourself it's still only temporary and that soon it will be the time for change, but it's been 10 years of you telling yourself that.</div>
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Imagine yourself in 10 years, if you're even lucky enough to make it that long, </div>
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You made it through college and got your BA honours, and you start to really think about your future, You remember the friends you left behind for your eating disorder and wonder what they are doing,</div>
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You spend each day looking at meal plans rather than job applications and wonder whether life will ever be any different...You go on Facebook and see what everyone else is up to, sipping on your 5th mug of black coffee with sweetener, whilst your stomach growling away. You ignore it, click on another Buzzfeed video on how to make some organic vegan cheesecake (of which you will never eat), and carry on with your usual monotonous routine. </div>
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Imagine yourself in a year, if you're even lucky enough to make it that long. </div>
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You are sick and tired of being sick and tired but there is nothing you can do. </div>
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You have given up, and you feel as though everyone around you has given up too, but you don't blame them. Why would they stick around, your worthless...right? That's what you tell yourself...</div>
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Everyone else is moving on, you are still stick where you were years ago, feeling alone and tired.</div>
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Every day is another struggle and you can't same to find a way out...but you sort of feel you want to.</div>
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Imagine yourself tomorrow...</div>
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You have the power to create your future and make it bright,</div>
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Start with tomorrow, or even better start right now, start today,</div>
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You have a life, an important one, and it would be a colossal mistake for you to never realise that,</div>
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If you don't choose recovery, you will never know just how beautiful and exciting life can be,</div>
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You have been fighting for so long to hold on to your eating disorder, </div>
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But now my friend, is is time for you to stop fighting and to let that toxic bitch go...</div>
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So remember your value, never forget how much life is worth fighting for, and please allow yourself to finally be free. All my love,</div>
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Thanks for stopping by! </div>
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*Disclaimer*</div>
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If anyone is triggered by this post in any way please to reach out for support, don't hesitate to email me at oliviacharlottealice@gmail.com or leave a comment below. Here are some hotlines below: </div>
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<span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">BEAT Helpline 0808 801 0677 Youthline 0808 801 0711</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">www.b-eat.co.uk</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">Men get EDs too: </span><span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">www.mengetedstoo.co.uk</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">Anorexia & Bulimia Care: </span><span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">www.anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">Overeaters Anonymous: </span><span style="font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif , "arial" , sans-serif;">www.oagb.org.uk</span></div>
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Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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Xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-53082715347120051812016-06-15T12:44:00.000+01:002017-10-06T15:28:43.075+01:00Self Help Tips in Recovery<div style="text-align: center;">
Hello you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Today, I wanted to share a post with you all that I wrote a while back. This post was written for anyone struggling with or overcoming a mental illness, as I know we all need a little encouragement and reassurance now and again and this post is my virtual hug to you....</div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Recovery understandably, is a rather long process. No one ever said it was going to be easy. However your choice in taking up this challenge shows that deep down you have faith that life can and will get better. So congratulations on choosing health and life, and just remember you aren’t alone! You CAN get better if you really want to: believe in yourself, believe in your inner ninja strength (because it is in there) and believe you CAN have power over your mental illness. If you really do want to change, then you can. The only person standing in the way of change is you. S go for it, you deserve the best! Don't let your illness end your story short, live to tell the tale. That being said, here are 20 bits of advice that I have for you...</span></div>
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1. 'Be prepared’. If you are serious about seeking help, look at where you may need to go to receive this support. What resources do you require? Do you need extra support from family members and friends during this time- yes- so make sure everyone around you is aware that you'll need constant reassurance throughout this time. Make sure you do your research about different counselling options and therapy groups to get the best help you can. 90% of the outcome in any activity depends on the quality of the preparation. Remember, you deserve the best form of treatment you can get!</div>
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2. Do something practical to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence every day. Write down a list of all the things you would like to do, try or, learn or experience again: things that you enjoy and that will challenge you just a little bit. Perhaps you used to love horse-riding or cycling or visiting museums or art galleries or simply seeing a friend for coffee. Try to plan to do one of these things within the next week or month as it gives you time to do something you really enjoy, it allows you to have fun, feel better about yourself and to do something that does not involve your illness.</div>
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3. If you are feeling tense, stressed, angry, upset or worried about something, put on your favourite music loudly and dance around like no one's watching. It will help release the negative feelings and tension and will hopefully make you laugh. Try it! I have and it’s fun and you will end up smiling and feeling much better. Alternatively if that really doesn't float your boat, you can curl up on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a blanket and catch up on your favourite tv show, or read a book, or watch a film you've been wanting to see. </div>
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4. Make a list of people you can call for support – family, friends, a counsellor, colleague, helpline or a support group. Keep it close to you and allow yourself to use it when you need to, because despite what you tell yourself, people are there to listen and provide support. There are people out there who want to help! </div>
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5. Write a letter to the person or problem upsetting you. Don’t send the letter though!!! Once you have written it, scrunch it up, tear it up, stamp on it, scribble over it, throw it away, bury it, or set it on fire- ok that might be a tad dramatic- but it will help you to express lots of thoughts and feelings you have inside that you may really need to get out. It will help you deal with these feelings and destroying the letter in some way after you have written it can help you can deal with them and manage them more effectively in the future. It can be a very cathartic exercise and just rather fun! </div>
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6. Try to think of healthy ways of getting out your feelings and emotions. Write these down on a little card that you can carry around with you in your pocket as a reminder of positive ways of expressing your thoughts and feelings. Some ‘positive’ ways of expressing the thoughts and feelings you may be experiencing could be: writing a diary, a story or letter about what you think and feel: reading or writing poetry or stories; and just being creative, such as drawing, painting or photography; exercising (moderately); going for a walk alone; dancing; learning self defense; recording your thoughts and feelings by talking into a voice recorder (playing it back can be very effective, as things often sound different once we have said them out loud – it can be very helpful for looking at things from a different perspective). </div>
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7. Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day. Rather than dreading this time of day and perhaps feeling down or unhappy during these periods, change it – interrupt this negative response we often have towards certain times, days, places and situations. For example, if you feel upset, down or alone in the evenings, plan ahead to fill in this time. The list is endless and there is so much you could do – it depends on what you enjoy, what interests you and so on. Read a book; call a friend and go to watch a film; join a class, do some writing, visit someone. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you enjoy doing it and it’s something you are interested in. It could just be going for a walk! </div>
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8.When you are feeling upset or down or perhaps that ‘recovery’ seems to difficult and you want to give up, take you mind of these thoughts and put on your favourite film or watch something that will make you smile and laugh for a little while. </div>
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9. Build a support network around you when you are working toward recovery. This might involve friends, family, a therapist, psychiatrist, or even making a list of useful telephone help-lines, finding valuable resources on the internet, buying some ‘recovery’ books, or attending a support group or online chat-room for eating disorders.(some links are on my blog!) </div>
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10. REMEMBER that it is okay to ‘feel’ feelings. This is absolutely allowed and part of recovery. A large part of recovery is acknowledging your feelings and allowing them to be let out and be felt by you. Often we keep our feelings hidden inside for so long that releasing them can seem like a scary idea. However, it’s part of recovery and while these ‘new’ feelings may seem intense and overwhelming at first, that’s okay and normal. Because they have been kept inside for so long it is hard to have them come at you all at once, but you will start to get used to these feelings over time and they won’t seem so overwhelming. Feeling these emotions will help you work towards a healthier, fulfilled way of life, without an eating disorder and bring you new ways of thinking, seeing and experiencing things. If you find them difficult to deal with, try writing them down, writing a diary or journal, singing the feelings, talking into a voice recorder, crying, using relaxation tools or creative visualization – anything that will let the emotions out but help you to cope with them and no feel so overwhelmed. REMEMBER IT IS OKAY TO CRY, it does not make you weak. </div>
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(STOP! Take a breather as this is a lot of information coming to you all at once. Get a drink, and come back. You are half way now so congratulations!) </div>
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11. The human body needs food to function properly and it needs nutrients from food to keep it healthy. By starving yourself and restricting your eating and the type of food you eat will leave you feeling more tired, with less energy, having more headaches, feeling more depressed, and vulnerable to illness because your immunity is so low. In the long term you could be causing damage to your organs, and under-eating could lead to infertility problems and osteoporosis. Food and eating can seem frightening at first, especially when, during our eating disorder, we have attached all sorts of labels to different types of foods: good, bad, healthy, safe, dirty, pure etc. There is no such thing as bad food. It can be helpful to look at food purely from a scientific viewpoint. Take each type of food, and don’t think of it as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but investigate it, get information on it, like a scientist would. What nutrients, vitamins and minerals does it contain and how much? What is the benefit of these to my body? What foods will make my hair grow and shine; what types of foods will give me energy; what foods will strengthen my teeth and bones; what foods will help me to have clear skin; what food will strengthen my muscles and so on. Look at what food REALLY is and not the distorted labels we attach to them. </div>
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12. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You don’t have to be perfect and nobody in this world is perfect. Who wants to be perfect anyway – I mean how boring is that?! If we were all perfect, we would all be the same, and we would get bored with each other and probably have less fun generally in life. The real beauty of life comes from the uniqueness and differences that exist around us. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has off days, and everyone at some time in their life wishes they had done things differently or better. Trying your best is the best thing you can do. We are all different. Be YOURSELF!!! </div>
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13. Be kind to yourself. I want you to talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. If you are having a tough time or perhaps something you did didn’t go to plan, don’t beat yourself up about it – it’s part of the learning and learning is constructive, not destructive. During hard times, think about what you would say to a friend who came to you with the same problem. Take yourself out of the situation and look at it from another perspective – what would your friend or a stranger say? </div>
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14. It is okay to say ‘no’ to food or invitations that you know you are not ready to handle yet. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure all at once as this could backfire. There will be invitations in the future that you CAN accept when you are in a better place within yourself – and when the time is right you can be brave and say YES! </div>
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15. If it is all getting too much for you, remove yourself from the situation. Go for a walk, take a relaxing bath, listen to some relaxing music, go to the park, call a friend and go shopping, visit the library and be like Matilda. Look after yourself. YOU are gaining control and taking responsibility. </div>
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16. Learn when you need some space and take it. Space can mean anything: personal space, emotional space, physical space – leaving a location, person, situation or event. Space might mean being alone or with other people. It’s different for everyone – but take it when you need it and don’t feel guilty or silly for doing so. </div>
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17. Make some lists of good things you have done. I can almost hear you all saying ‘I haven’t done anything good’. BUT you have. I mean everyone has done something good in their life. I bet there are lots of things. Write them down. Write down what you have achieved in life. It might be difficult to start with, but you CAN do, because you have achieved so much and done many good things. You have! I promise! </div>
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18. Avoid any negative encouragement. Avoid buying magazines and watching things such as ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and staring at Victoria’s Secret underwear models. Don’t visit any triggering websites. Avoid reading books or watching television programs that you feel might trigger or encourage your eating disorder or make you feel guilty or bad in any way, just please don’t watch them. I encourage you to watch a funny comedy or an interesting documentary instead. Extreme as it may sound, ban all of these from your life, starting now! You don’t need them….EVER!</div>
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19. Set aside a decent 5 to 10 minutes to go over your body from head to toe, and try to describe yourself out loud without being negative. You don’t have to say you ‘love’ anything. Just make normal observations such as: “my eyes are green, my hair is light brown, my face is oval, I have 2 thumbs and 8 fingers, my hair is straight, my lips are pink" and so on. Looking at yourself in a simple way can supposedly help overcome many of the negative connotations you have associated with your appearance, making it easier to face your reflection.</div>
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20. During recovery you may have days where you slip back into ‘old habits’. It is important that you don’t see these lapses as failures and give up. They are a natural part of recovery and you can learn from them. You can become stronger and learn from these slip ups. </div>
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<i><b>"The hardest part about recovery is that you have to keep on choosing it, even on the bad days."</b></i></div>
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BUT YOU CAN DO THIS & YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK!<br />
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I hope this helped you in some way. Please share any tips or bits of advice you have in the comment section.<br />
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Thanks for reading!</div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice </div>
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Xx</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-7329884372642661812016-02-28T14:04:00.000+00:002017-10-06T11:26:04.834+01:00The Power of Music: How music can affect our mood<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmlD7NfmX0EqbabfFj6InfdK7a_rOajh0RH2ETkZGH5STKvMx6El4dStPMRoIkgC9cw1oRxYAoo9FtvXxpyZ-oWS0P_vxzM_62znTOWsehk9xZKFZ5q9cbFDRNM4H8V79Mk3og40axQ0/s1600/tumblr_mmp0lfxLEX1s8a280o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmlD7NfmX0EqbabfFj6InfdK7a_rOajh0RH2ETkZGH5STKvMx6El4dStPMRoIkgC9cw1oRxYAoo9FtvXxpyZ-oWS0P_vxzM_62znTOWsehk9xZKFZ5q9cbFDRNM4H8V79Mk3og40axQ0/s200/tumblr_mmp0lfxLEX1s8a280o1_500.png" width="183" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zfGbX6QsvPKYYnek6PXrmbrGTON4z9S-X-fpgExMAMNWFTKDu2CED2kYbW-m-vkaAf7bedt8Iz5XhXuX-W2pmkjIuZ-_G0npVWZ6wP-PWem-fo3zmWa2IwDLCrqqbYj8oRNqQTxWDtY/s1600/tumblr_mw0huc1bZd1r4a038o1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="68" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zfGbX6QsvPKYYnek6PXrmbrGTON4z9S-X-fpgExMAMNWFTKDu2CED2kYbW-m-vkaAf7bedt8Iz5XhXuX-W2pmkjIuZ-_G0npVWZ6wP-PWem-fo3zmWa2IwDLCrqqbYj8oRNqQTxWDtY/s320/tumblr_mw0huc1bZd1r4a038o1_400.gif" width="320" /></a><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere! </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Today I wanted to share with you, my thoughts on how music can affect our mood...</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">The power that music has over our moods cannot go unnoticed; whether you are someone who likes to dwell in your sorrow and lay on your bed listening to melancholy tunes or someone who prefers to crank up the volume and have solo dance parties; music is always there for us to dance to, sing along to, cry to, laugh to, daydream to. Music is a great way to release both positive and negative energy. As well as the actual tune itself, the </span>lyrics from a song can often help us to feel less alone, enable us to put things into perspective, to help to alter our mood and to provide us with a temporary escape.<br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">I thought it would be a fun idea to leave the comment section open for anyone to leave suggestions of songs that uplift/inspire/motivate you or that just touch you in some way. Please do leave these song suggestions in the comments or you can email me (address in the 'about me' section). </span><span style="text-align: center;">Please also feel free to leave your suggestions of any song lyrics that you find motivating, uplifting, inspiring or that have helped you personally in some way. </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Thanks for stopping by!</span></div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice<br />
Xx</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-35191655927693446542016-02-14T15:31:00.000+00:002017-10-06T11:26:45.194+01:00Life Lessons with Livvy Part 6: How to Survive Freshers Week SOBER<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!<br />
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Today is all about freshers week, and how to survive it...sober!<br />
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Now I know many of you reading this are just delving into or preparing for your first term at university, and I know from experience that it can be a very daunting time- particularly for those who have never left home before and this is their first time being away in an unfamiliar environment. Along with the usual worries, also (for some) come the worries regarding social drinking and the expectations of living up to the overwhelming hype of freshers. I would firstly like to say don't believe the hype. If you believe it, you will be disappointed. Freshers week is fun and exciting but trust me the best few weeks of your university experience will probably not be freshers week. It might be, but I doubt it. I wanted to make a post for those of you who are not particularly interested in alcohol/can't have alcohol for one reason or another or maybe you just generally want to experience freshers and stay sober. I am not saying that drinking is bad or that you shouldn't drink, I mean personally I don't drink outside of social gatherings but I will have a few too many drinks here and there. There is nothing wrong with getting a little tipsy once in awhile, but it is also good to know that it is possible to have fun without doing so. Below are my top 3 tips on how to be a sober fresher:<br />
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<b>Tip no 1. </b></div>
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Remember that just because you are not drinking alcohol, does not mean you cannot drink anything at all. Buy some energy drinks or even a few non alcoholic cocktails or you could even try making your own 'mocktail''s and join in on the fun. You can still play drinking games and join in on pre-drinking, you are just simply drinking the non-alcoholic equivalent to what others are. Don't allow yourself to become isolated when there is no need for you to be. Find ways to be a part of the fun!</div>
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<b>Tip no 2. </b><br />
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Don't worry about what others are thinking/assume the best of people. The majority of people are not going to think 'oh s/he's not drinking alcohol so I am going to refuse to talk to him/her'. Everyone is going to be a little shyer than usual and will be trying their best to make friends as in the first few weeks everyone is finding their way and wanting to be a part of something. There will be people that understand and are supportive of your wishes and if people are rude to you just because you wish to stay sober then they are obviously not the type of people you should want to be hanging around. Find people that embrace and accept you for you and your beliefs and desires, they are the people you want to be making friends with as they are friends for life not just for a fortnight. Don't let people peer pressure you. Be yourself and be proud of what you stand for. </div>
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Realise that you don't have to 'survive' anything. This is not a challenge or a test, if you don't drink. That's simply it, you don't drink. If you don't make a big deal out of it then others probably won't either. In fact being the sober one could even gain you popularity as you can be the designated person that ensures people do not go overboard and end up in the ER or getting in the wrong cab etc...But also remember to have fun as just because you aren't drinking alcohol, it does not mean you cannot dance and go crazy just like everyone else. If you can have just as much fun without alcohol that just proves how fun you really are. </div>
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I hope that this gives you some reassurance or at least lets you know that you are not alone and there are many others who are feeling anxious about this topic and reached out for help. Clearly I am no expert and this is just based on my own experiences with friends that don't drink and also the occasions when I didn't want to drink during freshers. Best of luck to those of you embarking on your next chapter and heading of to uni. Remember to have fun!<br />
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Thanks for stopping by!</div>
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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<b>xXx</b></div>
<b><br /></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-74919567073955008642016-02-07T12:55:00.000+00:002017-10-06T11:27:20.391+01:00Life Lessons with Livvy Part 5: How to Make Friends with Social Anxiety<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: none 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-break: break-word;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">Today I want to talk to you about making friends...a terrifying prospect right? Well it doesn't have to be, or at least it doesn't have to be as terrifying a prospect as it is right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
begin to explain the ways in which you can make friends more easily, drawing on
past experiences, mainly sharing with you, the things I would do differently if
I went back in time to a few years ago (not that I want to relive any of my
school years, no thank you).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The first bit of
advice I have is obvious but often overlooked, and that is learning the art of
appearing approachable. By this I mean, try to be more open with people, give
others a reason to think you are interested in conversing with them, try to
smile a little more, put extra effort into having open body language, showing that
you are available (but do not appear desperate!) Take a deep breath and
talk to those around you, share your interests and start a conversation-it can
be about anything. The outcome will never be as bad or awkward as you think it
may be, trust me. Remind yourself that people won’t judge you for wanting to
talk, or at least they won't turn around and say "stop talking to me"
to your face. You have the freedom to speak so use your voice and start sharing
your opinions and opening up to those around you. Try not to fret so much about
what people are thinking about you, we are all guilty of doing so and it is
easier said than done, but try to really just be yourself and give less of a
dam about others opinions. It takes time, I'm still working on it myself! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don't be afraid to
use the friends you already have, I don't mean 'use' them in a negative way but
ask them if they can introduce you to their other friends and perhaps any other
social groups they might be a part of; this will help you to branch out and
perhaps give you a chance to get to know some of their other friends. In social
situations, be weary not to lie your way to the top: your true self
will ultimately be revealed and you will have wasted all that time trying to be
someone else, when people could have been getting to know the real you. Embrace
having a silly side and relish having a sense of humour; now this doesn’t mean
that you have to start telling jokes all the time and become the class clown,
but you can laugh at jokes that other people make and have a sense of sarcasm
and show others that you have a light hearted and fun side. Remember that
you’re most likely funnier when you’re being yourself. Don’t pretend to be
someone you’re not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Leading on from this
I want to emphasise the fact that it’s okay if you are in a different situation
to your friends. You can be friends with people who have different opinions and
ways of living to you. If you don’t have as much money as someone else in your
friendship group or if you have to go to university at a later time than your
peer group, or if you don’t know what a word means in a seminar or if you’re
uncertain on what you want to do in life. You don’t have to have everything
going perfectly in your life in order to impress someone. Most of the time
people make friends with others because they feel like they connect through
similar interests or personality and none of that can show through if you are
not being your true self. Speak out about things you’re knowledgeable in-
people who know things and can use their knowledge to help others. Confidence
naturally attracts people, so if you seem sure of yourself, it makes everything
else a lot easier. Even if you're not actually confident, just fake it...
eventually, it will start to become a reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don't second guess
yourself, and don't be afraid to speak up. In order to be both outgoing and
social, you also have to be approachable. So going back to what I said earlier,
always try to keep a smile on your face - people are much more likely to want to
talk to someone who looks happy. Laugh at what others say if you find it funny
and try to be nice and polite to everyone! Offer your help if you see someone
struggling, don't spread gossip, and don't talk badly about people behind their
back. That stuff gets back to people faster and than you will ever realise,
until it's too late. One other easy way to come off as really outgoing is to
give out a lot of compliments. Everyone loves being complimented, it makes them
feel good, and it will naturally make them have a positive attitude towards
you. Obviously don't just go around saying them out without meaning anything of
it - you need to be sincere in order to come off as genuine. If you see a girl
wearing an outfit you love, tell her. If you hear someone say something funny,
tell them how hilarious they are. Little things like that! Why keep in good
thoughts and positive energy? Share it! If approaching people is intimidating
to you, try to approach others who seem shy and quiet. As someone who was
incredibly shy, myself, and still is relatively, I can tell you that other shy
people will most likely be really happy that someone is making an effort to
talk to them. Sometimes shy people seem like they're not interested, but that
doesn't mean they're trying to be rude!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Remember that most
people are more interested in themselves, so pay close attention to what
they’re saying and ask them questions about what they seem to be interested in.
A classic and effective ice breaker is to ask someone about their recent adventures,
ask them questions about their family, job, degree, interests etc but don't get
too personal or invasive, as no one likes to be bombarded with questions. Talk
about positive things, you don’t really want to have a heavy discussion with
someone you just met about religion or politics-unless of course you’re at an
event or social situation in which that is suitable. If you are in a club or a
party you don't want to be talking about bad things that happened to you, or
crying your eyes out sharing all of your deepest darkest secrets. Perhaps you
can share a funny story or a just something with a relatively happy ending.
Know the place and the time for certain conversations and just start off by
putting yourself out there more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I hope this helped in some way! Lots of love and best of luck,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helveticaneue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Thanks for reading!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">- Olivia Charlotte Alice</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;"><b>xXx</b></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-26684666049746858602016-01-31T01:01:00.000+00:002017-10-06T11:27:48.138+01:00Life Lessons with Livvy Part 4: How to be Happy(ier)<div style="text-align: center; text-indent: -7px;">
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;">Today, I'm going to talk a little bit about happiness, what it means to be happy and how we can be happier. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt; text-indent: -5.25pt;">Honestly
the simple question 'How can I be happy?' is asked far too frequently by far too many people. It
should not be the case that one of the most searched questions on the internet
is how to find happiness. The truth is that happiness lies at our fingertips;
granted it is far easier for some to experience happiness than others, but it
is not impossible to become a happier person. The reality is that 'becoming
happy' is not an end goal; it is not a destination, it is something we have to
keep working on throughout our lives. The feeling of happiness can be
experienced at any moment for any reason. Happiness comes and goes, in the same
way that sadness, anger, frustration and worry enters and exits our life. I
don't believe in telling people 'how to be happy' because there is no set
method or set of rules which can make you happy forever. I can, however, try to
share some advice and tips that I use and believe in, that will hopefully help
you work towards creating a happier life and mind set for yourself which you
can keep working on regularly. </span><br />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 13pt;">Firstly I would say that I am not an expert and I am in no way a model for
'finding true happiness' and it is something I am working on myself each and
every day. What I do know or have been told, is that increasing your confidence
and having more faith in yourself will help to raise your mood. If you stop
constantly worrying about other people’s opinions of yourself and stop reading
too deeply into someone's expressions, you will start to feel less insecure and
feel more able to be yourself. It simply does not matter how that person in the
dining hall looked at you- if they were being rude or careless
you shouldn't pay attention to them. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 13pt;">So stop giving a
f**k about what other people think of you or tell you to do. Do you know who is
in charge of your life? You. You are in charge. You get to make the choices.
You are the one who has to deal with the consequences so make sure the choices
you make in life are going to benefit you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">There will come a day where you will love your life and will look back and
smile. Bear that in mind. Everything is temporary including shit weather,
sadness, being heart broken and being stuck in school. If you are feeling down
and you know that shopping works as a little mood booster, go shopping! If you
know that reading makes you happy, go invest in that book you wanted, if
you know that a short trip away will make you happier, go book that holiday, if
you know that going to a concert will boost your happiness, go purchase those
concert tickets. You deserve it all. You deserve to treat yourself and take a
break! Life is too short to be sitting at home pondering, you have to start
doing! For those of you that are feeling down about being single, please
remember that you will fall in love and then you will fall in love again and if
you find the right person, you will be loved back. Just because you don't feel
that way right now, it does not mean your future involves you being alone with
a million cats. If you have had a bad experience doing something, it does not
mean that the next time will be as bad. Take that leap of faith and trust
yourself, this time may have an entirely different outcome. Go out and
make memories. Stop sitting alone in your room 24/7 and start living. Did you
know that music can be a life saver for when you are feeling down, make a
playlist for every emotion and when you are feeling down turn those upbeat
tunes on and embrace the solo dance party. Stand up for yourself. You are
worth everything and no one should ever belittle you or make you feel small or
insignificant. Keep living. Right now may feel like the end of the world
but tomorrow might be the best day of your life and the emotions you are
feeling in this moment will not last. Every emotion is temporary so don't let
temporary feelings make you do something permanent. If you don't stick
around, how on earth will you know how your story was really meant to end?
There is a future out there for you, believe in better. Place your trust in the
universe. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">This may sound odd,
but one piece of advice I have been given, is to forget to be
sad/angry/fearful. Take my word for it: wallowing in sadness or anger or
any other emotions leading to unhappiness, is a lot of effort and
takes a lot of energy out of you. Especially if you can hold a grudge, it’s
literally exhausting. The saddest people in this world are the ones who
spend hours reliving all the injustice cast upon them and replaying all the
cruel things people have said and reminding themselves of all the bad luck
thrust upon them. For the love of god, please try to allow yourself to forget
it, forget all about it and just let it go. Now I want to make it clear that I
am not saying you should never allow yourself to feel your true emotions,
because at the end of the day, life is not about denying yourself of bad
emotions, because they are as real as anything else and sometimes you just need
to cry and feel every emotion and let it all out. I don't think
that happiness is the absence of sadness; I believe that happiness stems from
conquering the overwhelming feelings in your life over and over again and being
able to feel them but not letting those feelings destroy or debilitate
you. Throughout my life I have found it extremely hard to let everything
go, and let's face it I still do. Ever since we were kids, my sister has always
been the peacemaker; whenever we would fight, I would get offended and upset
and hold a grudge but it was over the next day because my sister would always
forget we were mad at each other and say “Want to watch a film?” and then a few
minutes later I would smile and agree. Of course later I would think “Damn it,
I was supposed to be angry at her” but really what is the point? If you don't
let the little things go, how are you ever meant to cope when you get older. I
am trying to follow in my younger sister's footsteps and just breathe, move on
and forget. There are so many forces in the world conspiring against your
happiness, so whatever you do, don't make yourself be the biggest one of them
all. Refuse to be sad or angry, just cross your arms and outright refuse. It is
all pointless, all of it. Holding a grudge is tiring and at the end of the day
where does it get you? The outcome of holding a grudge is never going
to be productive or positive. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Be self-caring not
self-centered. I am a strong believer in practising self love, thinking
about yourself and doing things for yourself. Life is about identifying the
things that will bring you happiness and then actively pursuing them- that is
self care/love. Being self-centered, on the other hand, is about identifying
and actively pursuing these things and not thinking about others in the
process. Happiness isn't achieved by thinking about yourself and only
yourself. It is about being kind to yourself as well as others around you. In
fact one of the things that brings me happiness is when I compliment someone
and they smile and it is clear that I have made a positive impact on their day.
I know it sounds weird, but by complimenting someone or simply making someone
smile it makes your heart feel warmer. Watch how they smile; notice how they
laugh and realise that you made that happen. Keep doing and saying nice things
to people. Let yourself relax and enjoy the little things in
life. Stop focusing on what you don’t have or don’t like. Now I know this
is easier said than done and we all have our moments where we like to complain
and whine and say that life is unfair, but it really is important to focus on
what you do have and do like in life. Seriously if you are feeling low,
even scrolling through instagram tags of cute animals and babies can keep you
entertained for hours (don't you get all judgy eyes on me, you know we've all
done it). If you are having a bad body image day, go to your mirror and look at
yourself and for every negative thought that pops into your head- counteract it
with a positive one and then say it out loud. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<img alt="Related image" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMC-EhBPu-vwLKlWjWlA_IJKaafwxlJIe_D9IOZp9j-39Ny7sNhJ3o3SbFjpZzWnAtrA76cwX6XjOW7vMUMK1PY98b-qtPfX2RMhtqSsPDeFZfvvNPxpM29-HL80Yejts1uoPVKVAwotM/s640/dontworrybehappy.jpg" width="640" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Find the fun in the
silly things. I know that one of the commandments of being young is to
find everything lame and boring and hugely embarrassing, but believe me
when I say this: having a dance with your parents at a family party or
singing along to the Mamma Mia soundtrack on the karaoke machine at a
pub, is a hell of a lot more fun than sitting in the corner, rolling your
eyes and burning up with embarrassment. At the end of the day, why are you
really hating on boybands and dismissing vegans and bashing disney movies? It
boils down to insecurities and the feeling of being judged by others that you
deem 'cooler' than you. So others aren't a big fan of reading or baking or
whatever else it is that you like doing- who cares? If you like doing those
things and it brings you joy- then absolutely 100% do it !!! Do not let others
stop you from pursuing your interests and passions. Life is too short to be
limited by a group of high school social climbers who you will probably never
see again when you leave. Learn to laugh at yourself, being able to have a
sense of humour and tease yourself is important; it is good to be able to have
light hearted moments and not be serious all of the time. Loosen up and just be
a goof once in a while. Everyone is a little weird in their own wonderful
way. Remember that happiness is in your hands. If you don't like your
hair? Cut it. If there is someone in your life who makes you feel really low?
Drop them- you need to surround yourself with sunrays, not thunderclouds. Want
to start a new hobby? Go do it. Life won’t wait for you, you have to reach out
and grab every opportunity. Once you do it, you will never stop wondering about
why you didn’t do it sooner- trust me. Do whatever you f***ing want. We’re all
on this planet for a reason and that’s to go on our own individual journeys. If
you want something to happen in your life, you have to be proactive. You can
have goals and set out plans and have aspirations but you also need to take the
necessary actions to work around or through any obstacles that come your way.
Be prepared but also be flexible as things will be thrown at you and you need
to be ready to deal with them. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Abandon perfectionism-
if you are someone who is constantly striving for perfectionism, you are never
going to be as happy as you could be. Try to accept the mistakes you make and
realise that life is full of mess ups and we need them in order to learn and
grow. When you finally embrace the imperfections, you can live your life
embracing whatever comes your way and you will have a weight lifted off from
your shoulders and will feel a lot more free. Don’t let the problems that
seem to consume your life be an excuse for not getting what you want. If you
have a persistent problem, go and talk to a professional or someone that you
trust (and who supports you). Sometimes it’s hard to be open, but in order to
live a happy life, we not only have to be honest to ourselves, but we have to
be honest with others. When we are honest, we end up caring for ourselves in
the best possible way. Pick one small problem or issue that has been
bugging you and take actions towards resolving it. Try to tackle one issue at a
time. The issue may be as small as having trouble completing an assignment for
work or school, but whatever it is, take the time to address it. By taking
control of our issues one at a time, we take away an incredible amount of
unnecessary stress that we didn't even realise we had. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Put your own
deepest needs first. Don't live for others before yourself or push your own
needs aside, as eventually you will crumble in some way - it is dangerous as if
something happened to the person you are living for, the next thought you would
most likely have would be 'what is my point in life now?' Know that it’s okay
to say no sometimes, and take time away for yourself. Sometimes your choices
may disappoint or offend others, but that is okay.It is sometimes necessary to
be selfish in order to grow and live in your own way. The people who love you,
want the best for you and they will accept and support you no matter
what. Be aware of the amount of goodness you have in your life and think
about the good things and good people that surround you. Be grateful for them
and be grateful for the things you have in this very moment. Who knows what can
change? That’s why it is so important to appreciate things in the moment as
they happen as you never know at what point these things could be taken away
from you. Remember that happiness begins with you; it is your mind that
you have to live with so fill it with positivity. Figure out what makes
you happy and do those things! To a large extent, being happy is your
choice. If you want to be happy, you can be! Embrace change and
growth. Everyone knows the excitement which comes up when something new is
happening. Be more curious and try out new things, do something different and
switch up your daily routine! Be in the moment and be weary that happiness
is not something we can predict. You cannot keep thinking 'I will be happy
when...' because you cannot predict what will happen. These thoughts are just
excuses which will hold you back from feeling happiness right now. It is
so important to be surrounded by positive people, therefore it is obvious that
letting go toxic relationships is necessary in order to relieve the mind and
body from mental and physical pain which may have been caused by these
relationships. There are several reasons why we keep staying in these
relationships, it could be down to fear of change, loss of individuality, it
could even be down to habit. If a friendship or relationship of any kind is
making your mood lower, try to sit back and think of the reasons as to why this
might be. Remind yourself of Shirley Maclaine's words, 'The most profound
relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves'. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One idea/theory/belief I have been noticing a lot recently is that of the Law
of Attraction. Following this belief you could say that sharing happiness with
others brings you closer to being happier as if you
put positive energy out there in the universe, the universe will pull
positive people into your life and lead you towards positive energy and so
on and so on. The Law of Attraction basically means that positive attracts
positive and negative attracts negative. If you think positively, good
things will happen because the law of attraction pulls positive and
ambitious people into your life which help and remind you of your goals. “All
we are is the result of all we have thought” - Buddha</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><img alt="ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd" height="428" src="https://www.wooinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.jpg" width="640" /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;">Go
out there and start making changes. Start doing things for YOU and SMILE :)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;">I
hope these nuggets of advice help you in some way and please do let me know
what you think and share your thoughts with me either on
twitter @Olivia_CA95 or leave a comment down below. All the positive
energy being sent your way!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;">Thanks for reading!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13pt;">-
Olivia Charlotte Alice</span></div>
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<span style="color: #343434; font-family: "calibri light" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.0pt;"><b>xXx</b></span></div>
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Today, I'm going to talk to you about anxiety, and more importantly, the ways in which we can deal with and overcome our anxiety.<br />
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On a daily basis, how many times do you get that sudden rush of butterflies, that moment of second guessing yourself, that feeling of extreme doubt in everything you are about to do or say? How many times a day do you feel uncomfortable in your own skin or overly stressed or anxious? How many times have you told yourself 'NO' when you should or could have told yourself 'YES'? The amount of times I have done or experienced these things are countless, and I am trying to change this. SO as I go on this 'journey' as they say, I thought I would bring you along with me and hopefully it may help you as well in some small way.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px;">For me personally I have been a 'NO' person my entire life; by that I mean, whenever there is an opportunity or a challenge or a new adventure that crops up, I will always worry and think of all the reasons why I can't do that thing instead of being excited and thinking of all of the reasons why I can and why I should. A hint of pessimism in my personality? Yes, admittedly so; however most of it boils down to the fact that I struggle with anxiety. For as long as I can remember every thought that has crossed my mind has contained worry after worry after worry. With most people, feelings of worry and fear are associated with events such as starting a new school, making new friends, moving house, starting a new job, going to university, leaving home etc...but for me it is on another scale. I would be petrified to even get on the London tube and would avoid meeting up with people to avoid having to travel on it or go near the underground. I would worry for days beforehand about travelling somewhere new and it would keep me up at night. I would get anxious in unfamiliar situations, particularly social situations and although deep inside I wanted to be sociable and go out and see new places, there was always that part of me and those negative self doubting thoughts in the back of my mind that would be triggered and in order to protect myself I would instinctively go into 'hermit mode' and decline any offers to socialise as the feelings that came with participating in those events were too much to handle. As a result I saw less people, made less friends and became more isolated which in turn made everything that much worse. By never stepping out of my comfort zone and always remaining in my own little security blanket bubble, I never challenged my anxiety and it never got any better. As the saying goes "Great things never came from comfort zones". I have missed out on so many experiences and friendships due to my anxiety and low self esteem and it got to a point where it was affecting my friendships and family relationships as I just became a rather dull and distant person to be around. Over the past few years I have come to terms with it more and have started tackling these issues head on and dealing with the thoughts and feelings instead of suppressing or avoiding them. Life is far too short to sit in a corner and never test the waters. I was simply existing rather than living for far too long and it got to a point where I might as well have been in a coma- I know it sounds a little morbid but really it is the truth. I don't want to confine myself to one corner forever, I want to branch out and push myself and really make the most of the life that I have and say 'YES' to the opportunities that come my way. </span></div>
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Many of you reading this blog post may be struggling with feelings of anxiety, low self esteem or depression, and I know that depending on who you are, the level to which this affects you may be mild, moderate or extreme. I am here to tell you that no matter how bad it may be, it can and it will get better. By tomorrow? Most likely no. By next week? Probably not. By next month? Maybe. But the point is that in the long run you can change things and make a difference to your wellbeing and your lifestyle. Every day may not be rainbows and sunflowers but honestly no one's days are all like that. Life comes with twists and turns and that is the whole point of it. You experience every emotion under the sun but eventually the good days overweigh the bad ones and the happy moments overweigh the sad times. </div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">THINK about it. What is the absolute worst that can happen by saying 'YES' once in a while instead of your usual safe 'NO'. Would you rather look back on life regretting all of the things you missed out on, or push yourself that little extra every so often and fight through the thoughts and fears and take the time to make your life that little bit better. Trust me, you don't want to look back thinking 'what if', you want to look back and tell your grandkids of all the adventures you went on and all of the risks you took. Now I'm not saying conquer everything in the universe and do the most terrifying thing in the planet, because of course there are some things that you do not need to put yourself through; but if you are letting your own mind stop you from doing things like getting on a train, visiting friends, going out to parties, getting a job, finding someone etc then maybe its time to step outside of your comfort zone and step by step you will find it easier to do these things. Now there will of course be occasions when you do get overly anxious or nervous about something, but if you keep the thought in mind that ultimately 'YOU WILL BE OKAY', that you are going to get through this and you will not die from these feelings you are having, you can at least feel a little more optimistic approaching the situation and try it out. Even if you do have to leave that party, or go back home or reschedule, at least you can say you tried and that you gave it your best shot. You deserve to give yourself the best chance at life. </span></span></div>
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One factor that many people struggling with negativity or anxiety have difficulty with, is comparison. We compare ourselves to others who do not seemingly struggle, we become envious of those around us that ooze confidence and positivity and we sit there wishing we were them and that we could live like that. But as the saying goes, 'comparison is the thief of joy' and how true it is. The minute we stop comparing ourselves to others and realise that who we are is okay, life will become a whole lot easier. There are SO many others who struggle and it is easy for us to forget this and to think we are all alone. We need to remember that we are not alone and we never will be. It is all too easy to think "I wish I was that confident" or "I wish I never had to fear or worry about anything like that person", but really how are those individuals any different to us? In reality what do we really have to worry about? Everyone worries, everyone gets scared, everyone has doubts and moments of anxiety, but there are ways to deal with these things. There are unhealthy ways and there are positive beneficial ways. It is up to us to choose the healthy route! It is never impossible to overcome the issues you are struggling with; through learning and using the healthy coping mechanisms and tools that are available to us, we can either tackle these issues and go about our lives or at worst we can learn to deal with them and embrace the fact that sometimes we will get a little more scared and anxious or sad than others and just accept that this is okay and nothing to be ashamed of. </div>
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As the (extremely irritating and overused) abbreviation goes, <b>Y</b>ou <b>O</b>nly <b>L</b>ive <b>O</b>nce and so you should do everything in your power to make it count. You have one life (or you are an immortal/supernatural in which case HOW and give me some of whatever you are having), you have the chance to change things for yourself and to improve your existence. Rid your life of toxic energy, toxic thoughts and toxic people. Get the hell away from the negativity and do what you can to absorb the positive energy that life brings. Cherish the little things, the small moments and cling to the people that lift you up instead of dragging you down. If you put positive energy out there in the universe, it will come back to you in one form or another. If you smile at someone, chances are they will smile back, but if you look miserable and grumpy, chances are they will dismiss you or be grumpy and miserable back. You may not have a say in your anxiety or depression but you do have control over the way you choose to act upon the emotions and thoughts you have.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;">Take steps to break down those walls you have spent years building for yourself, contact the people or services you need to in order to get that extra bit of help (there is NOTHING wrong with getting professional help and reaching out- in fact it is very brave and in the long run it could be hugely beneficial). Every time a moment crops up when you would usually respond with a 'NO' on autopilot, take a second to stop and think and then with a boost of courage, reply with those three letters 'Y.E.S'. If at the end of the day you really cannot go through with the thing you agreed to then that is fine, but at least give it a go, take a step in the right direction and start opening up the doors to more opportunities. Stop limiting yourself and knocking yourself down, because nothing bad is going to happen from saying 'YES' to things. </span><span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;">One important thing to remember though, is that is okay to have bad days and to simply let yourself be anxious or sad or negative. It is okay to indulge in those emotions from time to time, but then the next day you have to pick yourself up and get back on your feet. You cannot let those feelings linger or it will smother you and ultimately lead to you feeling worse again. In life we all</span><span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;"> have the power and the ability to change many things. It is up to us to take that power and use it to start living. We CAN and we WILL overcome this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;">- Olivia Charlotte Alice</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;"><b>xXx</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214349656456273137.post-49652921768874292582016-01-17T22:56:00.000+00:002017-10-06T11:28:40.898+01:00Life Lessons with Livvy Part 2: How to deal with feelings of loneliness<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Hello there you beautiful beings of the blog-o-sphere!</div>
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Today I wanted to talk to you about feelings of loneliness, but more importantly, how to deal with feeling alone.<br />
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There are numerous reasons as to why someone may feel lonely; some people feel lonely more often than others but everyone experiences loneliness from time to time. Luckily, there are a number of ways you can get through these times and hopefully overcome them; I thought I would share some of the ways I wish I had dealt with loneliness in the past and to write down some of the things I would have told my teenage self. I also came up with some new ideas as I am always learning how to better deal with these times. (I will forewarn you that this is an incredibly long post so if this is not your kinda thing or you simply don't wish to read it, I completely understand). For those of you that do struggle with this issue and do want some advice, please keep on reading :)<br />
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<b>Reassurance </b></div>
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Step back for a minute and realise that you are in fact <i>not</i> alone in feeling alone- we all get lonely. Having feelings of loneliness doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Remind yourself that how you are feeling now will not last forever and that tomorrow is a new day and you can try your best to avoid feeling the same way again by actively doing things to ensure that you are either with people or kept busy doing something. This leads on to my next point which is to get involved in activities.</div>
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<b>Get involved in something! </b></div>
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Join an after school club or take a class on the weekends. Volunteer at a local shop in your community or look out for any weekend or part time job offers. If you are very shy like I was throughout school, I understand this can be a lot more difficult and challenging- in which case maybe try looking for a local support group for social anxiety, even if it is online! Actively do things to limit the time you have to be on your own! Take up a hobby and take the time to learn something new and indulge in any passions that you have.</div>
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<b>Keep Busy</b></div>
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This is similar to my point above, but keeping yourself busy is a sturdy way of ensuring the time you are alone is minimised. Having nothing to do and feeling bored is what causes those intense feelings of loneliness to creep in. Throw yourself into work or extracurricular activities. Don't be afraid or ashamed to do social activities by yourself. Take yourself out on a date, I know this sounds weird but for example, if you would have gone out to a cafe or to a movie with someone, then take yourself out to see a movie or go to a nice quirky cafe and read a good book. Although, at first, it may seem awkward to be doing things by yourself that you used to do with someone else, don’t hold yourself back. You should not feel embarrassed to be by yourself and out doing things! If you really struggle with being out in public alone and you find yourself having to do so on a regular occasion, take a book, magazine, or journal with you so that when you go out to eat or have coffee on your own, you’ll be occupied and it won't feel as awkward. Bear in mind that many people do often go out on their own on purpose just to have some time by themselves; people will not look at you sitting alone and assume you have no friends or that you are a total loner- that is just what your negative self talk is tricking you into thinking. Don't project your own insecurities on to other people! Have faith in others opinions and judgements of you- you never know they may be thinking your outfit is cute or that you look like a nice person to be around. Assume the best in people :)<br />
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<b>Do not indulge in feelings of self pity! </b></div>
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Don’t allow yourself to wallow. Instead of persistently dwelling on how alone you feel, do anything and everything to get your mind off it. Take a walk, ride your bike or read a book. Explore different activities and take up new or pursue old hobbies- don't be afraid to try new things. Having more experiences gives you more of an opportunity to discuss things in social situations and have conversation topics and things to open up about. If you are living alone and you cannot be alone with your thoughts for a considerable length of time, perhaps consider getting a pet. If you’re truly struggling without companionship, consider adopting a dog or cat from your local animal shelter. Pets have been domestic companions for centuries for a reason, and winning the trust and affection of an animal can be a deeply rewarding experience. Obviously make sure you are ready to take on having an animal as they are for life not just for the times you are feeling sad and they need properly looking after! Gotta be responsible.</div>
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<b>Get in contact with people!</b></div>
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Make that phone call to a long lost friend or distant relative and try to arrange a get together and reconnect with them. Even if the people available aren’t who you most want to be with right now, any sort of human contact is better than none and continuing to feel miserable. Reconnecting with people will make you feel better in the long run and you never know you may hit it off with the person as if you never stopped keeping in touch. Sometimes all you need to do is pick up the phone to rekindle relationships. If no-one is available, just simply be around people by going shopping or to a coffee place or even go to the cinema. Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships. Don’t wait for people to approach you: you should try to approach them. Friendship is a two sided thing! Ask your friends if they want to chat or invite them out to a restaurant- it is important to show an interest in other people, otherwise they will most likely not show an interest in you. Be a pleasant presence, draw people toward yourself by providing enjoyable company. Be complimentary rather than critical and make heartfelt and casual comments rather than criticising other people’s clothing choices, habits or lifestyle. Making compliments is one of the best ice-breakers that exists and it builds a better relationship steadily over time as people come to understand that you are a pleasant and warming presence to be around. The more you open up and put yourself out there, the more people you are likely to attract and therefore the more people you have in your life to keep you company. If you really cannot make friends easily or you are in a place where you simply have to be alone, try to join an online community. Sometimes it can help to share your thoughts and experiences online and find others who are going through similar situations and relate to them. Things such as online forums often allow you to express yourself whilst also doing good and helping others. In doing this, it is key to remember to be safe as not everyone is who they say they are online and you don't want to be catfished! Creeps on the internet feed off loneliness, so be aware of that (not to get too sinister on you!) Also be weary that you do not become overly dependent on online communities as you do not want your laptop to become your only social outlet. You need to socialise with friends and have physical contact with other beings as well as venting online- as great as your online friends may be, they are not at arms reach and will not be able to be with you in person and hug you in times of need.</div>
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<b>Learn to embrace being alone. </b></div>
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Now you may be thinking, "What?" as I have just said that you should go out and socialise, but there will be times in life where you will be alone and there will be times where you will have to learn to embrace it. It is important to differentiate between loneliness and solitude as one is negative and the latter is more positive. There is nothing wrong with solitude- (wanting to or enjoying being alone) and many introverts feel this way. Time alone can in fact be useful and enjoyable and a time to be productive and get things done. You can even take this time alone to work on improving yourself and making yourself happier. Usually, when we’re devoting most of our time to other people, we tend to neglect ourselves. If you are going through a period of loneliness, take advantage of it by doing the things that you want to do for yourself. This is a wonderful opportunity to really focus on self care and have a bit of 'me time' (hate that expression? Yeah me too).</div>
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As I said earlier about keeping yourself busy and getting involved in activities, perhaps consider joining a gym. Working out and taking care of our bodies is usually the first thing that gets tossed aside when we get busy. If you’re spending less time with other people than normal, try using that time to exercise. If you exercise at a gym, you might even meet some new friends or a new special someone! Alternatively you could use this time to get ahead with work or school and turn your loneliness into something productive and beneficial! You could try cooking yourself a nice meal or make baked goods for friends and family. Cooking up a meal is rewarding, you can channel your focus into something nourishing. If you are spending a lot of time alone, take this opportunity to pursue those dreams you have been dismissing as impossible. People often have something really big that they want to do but with it they have a thousand excuses as to why they cannot do it. Have you ever wanted to write a book? Participate in a charity event? Break a record in something? Use this loneliness as the excuse to do something great. Who knows, maybe it will turn into something that helps and inspires others. </div>
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<b>Get comfortable with who you are and start accepting yourself.</b></div>
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Learn to be happy with yourself. When you accept and love who you are, it shows. People like to be around those who ooze positivity and are confident in themselves. I think it is also helpful to understand and acknowledge that you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. It may be difficult to see your friends going off and dating people or feeling like there’s something wrong with you for not dating (trust me I know), but you don’t have to be in a relationship to feel like you’re part of a group or to be surrounded by people that care about you. While your friends are with their significant others, make some new friends and start dating only when you’re ready to share your life with someone. If you’re feeling lonely, consider taking a break from social media websites like Facebook as you can often end up going on other people's profile pages and seeing photos of them socialising and in relationships and it will just make you feel worse. You don't always have to be doing what others are doing, things will fall into place when they are supposed to, so don't rush into anything just for the sake of it! Remember that the thoughts you are having towards perhaps feeling self-conscious about being single, are the same thoughts that the majority of other single people are having. You are not the only single person in the universe, remind yourself of that!</div>
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[On a serious note, if you have a persistent feeling of loneliness and it is bringing you down consistently and affecting your everyday life, maybe seek medical help. It might be a sign of depression or due to underlying anxiety and there are ways you can tackle this and it doesn't have to be by yourself!]</div>
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Whatever happens, I wish you the best and I hope you are able to use some of these ideas in your life. Let me know if you have any other tips or suggestions! Lots of love,<br />
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Thanks for reading!<br />
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- Olivia Charlotte Alice</div>
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<b>xXx</b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15628164072224176902noreply@blogger.com0